Family Guy (TV Series)
Extra Large Medium (2010)
Patrick Warburton: Joe Swanson
Quotes
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Peter Griffin : I shall now channel the ghost of Lou Costello, who will guide us to this soul in distress.
[Peter goes into a trance]
Peter Griffin : Hi everybody it's me Lou Costello! Alright, what's the name of the guy we're looking for?
Joe Swanson : Well, he's an Asian fellow, Melvin Hu.
Peter Griffin : That's what I want to find out.
Joe Swanson : What?
Peter Griffin : The name of the guy.
Joe Swanson : Melvin Hu.
Peter Griffin : Are you a cop?
Joe Swanson : Yeah.
Peter Griffin : You handling this case?
Joe Swanson : Yeah.
Peter Griffin : Then what's the name of the guy?
Joe Swanson : Hu!
Peter Griffin : The guy we're looking for.
Joe Swanson : Hu!
Peter Griffin : The guy who's buried.
Joe Swanson : Hu!
Peter Griffin : The guy with the bomb.
Joe Swanson : Hu!
Peter Griffin : What street does he live on?
Joe Swanson : First.
Peter Griffin : [Explosion in the background. Melvin Hu's severed leg and rubble fall in front of Joe and Peter] Yeah, I'm not psychic.
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[Joe has enlisted the "Psychic" Peter to help in an investigation]
Joe Swanson : All right, Peter, we know the victim is somewhere in this area. We don't have much time before the bomb...
Peter Griffin : [shushes Joe] Okay, Joe, when I'm tracking someone, it often helps to touch something that belongs to the victim. Does he have a wife?
Joe Swanson : Uh, yeah.
[an attractive woman walks up and Peter begins fondling her breasts and hips]
Peter Griffin : Yeah, uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
[She walks away]
Peter Griffin : It's still very fuzzy. Does he have a daughter?
[the daughter, a fat, unattractive teenager walks up]
Peter Griffin : Yeah, I see. Does he have maybe, like a thinner, hotter daughter?
Joe Swanson : Well, yes, but she's only twelve.
Peter Griffin : Okay. Like a young twelve or, like a "she eats a lot of milk products so she got her boobs early" twelve? Which is a real thing, by the way.
