Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle (2022) Poster

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1/10
It was bad, oh so bad...
paul_haakonsen30 January 2023
Granted, I didn't like the previous two movies, yet I still opted to sit down and watch this 2022 third movie in the series, titled "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle".

Was I expecting anything? Well, not really. I was hoping that they upped their game from the previous two abysmal movies, sure, but I wasn't harboring any expectations.

Writer and director James Nguyen delivered what had to have been the worst movie of 2022 here with "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle". Wow, just wow.

First of all, you have to wait 56 minutes before the birds make an appearance. And let's face it, the lousy animated birds from parts I and II is what drives you to go on to watch the third movie. I certainly was for me. And 56 minutes into a movie only 83 minutes long, before you are rewarded with those horrible animated birds that explode on impact.

Up to the 56 minute marker, the movie is nothing but a slow paced infomercial of how bad a state the Earth is in, about climate crisis, global warming and how humans are destroying the Earth. I am not kidding. It was literally all that was going; watching Ryan Lord and Julia Culbert walk around various locations and delivering gut-wrenching wooden dialogue about the state of the Earth.

The acting in the movie was toe-curling awful to witness. The performances were wooden and rigid at best. With absolute zero chemistry between the leading actor Ryan Lord (playing Evan) and leading actress Julia Culbert (playing Kim), and they both delivered performances that would make a dead man wake up and go "oh really now?" And the dance scene was just atrocious; never before have I seen such awkward and rigid dancing before my eyes. Actually there wasn't a single good performance throughout the 83 minutes of runtime that this infomercial for global warming and eco crisis ran for.

The movie is a dumpster fire of grand scale. The storyline is rubbish, especially since you have to wait close to an hour before those god awful animated birds show up. Then there was the issues with the lighting and quality of the picture, which kept alternating between shadowed haze and ordinary daylight. And the sound was equally bad; loud in some scenes and barely audible in others.

Visually then "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" was every bit as horrible as the previous two movies. With lousy animated birds, sea eagles this time, that exploded on impact and just using the same two frames of animated birds over and over. I mean, even when people were shooting and fending off birds with various tools, there weren't even birds in the picture most of the time.

But hey, at least "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" is good for a laugh once past the 56 minute marker.

"Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" from writer and director James Nguyen was bad, so very, very bad. My rating of "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" lands on a one out of ten stars. Without a doubt the worst movies I have stumbled upon from 2022.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this one. Some of us suffered through it, so you don't have to.
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1/10
Absolutely Abysmal
terriblethingsdirect25 February 2023
The film making presented in this movie is horrendous. Somehow Nguyen has managed to regress as a film maker over his 4 feature films. This movie is not even so bad it's good. It is painful to watch and offers almost no entertainment value as it is somehow a worse retelling of the first film. Somehow the writer/director managed to cram more hamfisted and clunky dialogue than his previous works so that Birdermic 3 manages to be both simultaneously extremely boring and also insulting to the audience's intelligence. There is nothing new here to warrant viewing this film as the same issues of the prior 2 films in the series are also present in this film. The plot is literally exactly the same, the same terrible bird special effects are used and the same awful editing is present throughout. As a result, Birdemic 3 has no entertainment value whatsoever. Save your money and put on the first film with the saturation turned way down.
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1/10
James Nguyen keeps the level
khadryan-2300627 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I can be biased, as I am fan of bad cinematography, but I enjoyed this one even more than 2 previous.

Style of Mr. Nguyen matures as a fine wine.

The camera work, the sound, the special effects - it gets worser and worser.

The screenplay, the nonsensical, stiff dialogs, the terrible performance of the actors do not change.

Some people insist on not calling it a film (movie), and I see where they are coming from. Most of its running time is used by characters walking, driving or running, and talking to various people about global warming. Its message, although important to hear, is delivered with such a lack of subtlety, it gives the opposite effect.

After watching it in the cinema in Wroclaw, Poland, I wanted to burn couple of tires and pollute the nearest Odra river.

I am giving 1 for the overall quality and not for the enjoyment.
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1/10
They actually did it!
shitflicks12 April 2023
I know film's sequels don't usually follow the success, but when the first movie was so bad I expected better. This isn't really a movie, it's more of a global warning propaganda video. So much emphasis on global warming and the destruction of the earth, it's actually quite depressing. Forget the wooden acting and the bad writing, and the fact that sometimes the scenes are interspliced so badly that sometimes the volumes change and the lighting, so you can tell they've just stitched 2 scenes together. I should have know what to expect, but even after seeing 2 other films of this quality, I really didn't expect it to be this bad. It's far worse than the other 2 put together. Personally I got to the end and was actually looking forward to the end of the world, just so I don't feel compelled to watch any more birdemic movies!!
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1/10
Alas, poor Nguyen
TheVictoriousV27 February 2023
"Birdemic 3 came out today, and Nguyen is already planning a fourth. But all I can think about is Evan Husney's sad portrait of a man who desperately wants to be a respected filmmaker but is so unable to let go of the movie that made him a cult hit that he sabotages himself."

This is what Ed Glaser wrote on Twitter alongside a clip of James Nguyen in a documentary from Vice, displaying his apparent inability to move on from the Birdemic phenomenon -- while leaving us confused whether he understands how deeply hilarious his movie about the attack of the killer bird GIFs truly is, or at least why this is so.

After all, the previous movie was trying to be funny on purpose. Alas, it is typical for a "so bad that it's good" filmmaker to lack the self-awareness to understand why people were laughing in the first place (just look at what happens when Tommy Wiseau, director of the legendarily inept The Room, tries to make us laugh INTENTIONALLY with The Neighbors) and sure enough, Birdemic 2 was just plain unwatchable.

Now, for some reason, Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle IS actually kinda funny.

Nguyen leans into what made the original movie so transfixingly terrible (the constantly shifting audio quality, white balance, and saturation seem all the more jarring with the improved picture quality) but isn't trying to be cheeky about it. The impression I got was that of a filmmaker who, deep down, does think this all looks really cool and that these sub-PSA "insights" about global warming and environmentalism are genuinely profound (one is reminded of bad movie legend Neil Breen, who still plays everything straight, possibly because he knows how hilarious that makes him).

But then, the movie does come with the additional (depressing) undertone generated by what we know from the aforementioned documentary: this is all Nguyen has in him. I was pondering this as I watched, but promptly forgot about all that when I heard a track by Melodysheep (composed for his sublime YouTube doc about life in the cosmos and its inevitable fate) among the stock music.

He's got taste, that James Nguyen.
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2/10
Flap flap
BandSAboutMovies27 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Severin Films, who released the original Birdemic, wants to move past Birdemic 2: The Resurrection and introduce a new and better take on the birds. Or so they said, but after a decade, not much has changed.

Gerontologist Evan (Ryan Lord) and marine biologist Kim (Julia Culbert) have learned from her collecting ocean water samples that the water has become too acidic due to global warming. That means that the birds, always those CGI birds, are mad. But first, there's romance.

Director and writer James Nguyen did it all himself this time and man, it's certainly a movie. There's nearly an hour about climate change where every conversation and even the artwork references it. If you think the media isn't spending enough time on this issue, this movie is out to make up for it.

It also has a lot to say about how good Vertigo is.

There's also a lot about how Mr. Green, an Elon Musk-esque billionaire is our only hope.

And then twenty minutes in, this movie remembers that it needs bird attacks and gives you bird attacks.

To get there, there's a long karaoke slow dance scene, a space elevator and lots of making out.

I think this movie has a brand name now that guarantees that lots of people are going to want to watch it. I can't believe that there was one of these movies much less three. There are long stretches without dialogue or even music. There's no real story until it's almost over. And by this point, either James Nguyen is in on the joke or so far into himself that he doesn't realize what he's making or probably both.

In case you want to know where your money went when you bought all of those Al Adamson and Dennis Steckler box sets, you can see it on the screen here.
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1/10
Birdemic, and the Colossal Waste of Time.
PointlessNonsuch3 April 2023
Let me start out with this...

If you liked Birdemic 1 & 2, do yourself a favor, and skip this entry. I'm dead serious. Don't bother.

You thought waiting 30mins (Birdemic 1) or 45 mins (Birdemic 2) to see the bad cg birds was bad?? Try waiting an hour in an hour and 23min long movie, and somehow, the birds look actually worse than they did in the prior two installments. Hell, Alan Bagh doesn't even show up in the movie until just after the birds. But you know what you do get to see?? The absolute worst & stiffest acting humanly possible by "paid professionals."

Once again, James Nguyen follows the same plot as he did the last two times, but somehow... worse. Each scene is some random person spewing exposition at the lead actors, sounding like they're just reading wikipedia articles held up by James off scene. Each character preaches at length in each scene, making the movie seem to last an eternity, despite being just a few minutes.

Hell, there is literally a scene where we watch the lead man watch tv for 5 minutes, with the camera panning around him & room, as he eats a sandwich. Before that, we get to watch both leads stand on a pier & watch a 5 man protest of wikipedia reading & unemotional yelling for another 5mins.

Honestly, skip this movie. Unless you're going to see it in person, with Alan & James there, in the theatre, so you can ask them "Why?"
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1/10
What literally change
remixchild-0677614 March 2023
For a movie that "tries" to be the horror version of Captain Planet and failed royally (if that wasn't a clue from the last movies). It doesn't help that not only story doesn't improve , but there acting for the third time makes tommy wiseau look like John cena.

Outside of minor changes and by minor I mean mononucleosis changes...bad weapons, bad messages of climate change, bad cgi did I forget to say bad cgi birds? Yeesh just watch the birds and throw these 3 movies in the computer trash bin Before I go I will say this: it's really hard to say anything about this when the weapons are the same damn things.
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4/10
If you loved the first movie, you'll love this
knodd114 February 2023
Long story short, it's the EXACT same plot of the 1st movie and everything you'd expect. The audio was everywhere, the lighting was everywhere, the dialog and acting was everywhere, which by the way always sounded like generic AI bots talking to each other...yup it's all here.

Movie starts out with loud happy music with the infamous driving scene, then cuts away to a very quiet scene where guy meets girl with wacky dialog audio. Also, the lighting was so bad I couldn't tell if there was something wrong with my TV, probably because there was so much over exposure and bad filtering.

The CGI, same thing, the birds are flying GIF images. Like I said before the plot is the same, the 2 characters have everything going for them, go on dates, dancing with live music, and get in bed. No birds until 57 minutes into the movie and out of nowhere they attack.

What's interesting about this one is that it's actually better than the first 2, but that's not saying much. It's probably the most preachy and had the most music and alcohol. And yes there is a hanger scene.

So the question remains....is it still so bad it's good? Short answer, YES and its pretty funny and entertaining.
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1/10
Ooff. A long silent walk across the parking lot.
timhds7 January 2024
I've watched a LOT of bad movies, it's my favorite genre. Tons of titles most people have never heard of. Some are okay, some are amazing, and a precious few have zero redeeming features. Birdemic 3 is the latter. It really is awful. The first hour is mostly people walking or driving from point A to point B, and you get to watch on real time the entire journey, usually with no dialog. One scene in particular had the 2 leads walking across a empty lot towards a small building. They are seen walking, then you see the building, implying that is where they are headed. If you've ever seen a movie, you understand that is their destination. But we get to realm with them, all 200 feet, in silence, but from a few different angles. It takes about 45 seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. And this is one of many scenes that drag on to get the run time to 80 minutes. It's painful. Not to mention when their is dialog, it's about how humans are ruining the planet and causing global warming. That's fine if it's an Al Gore documentary, but this is Birdemic. I want cheesy special effects, low budget gore, and bad one liners. The birds don't appear until almost the 60 minute mark, and the movie runs just around 80+ minutes.

If you're a completist like me, and you need to watch all three Birdemic movies, just know this is by far the worst of them. It took me 4 nights just to get through it, as I kept falling asleep.

It really is that hard to watch as it has nothing to keep your interest.
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10/10
A misunderstood cinematic masterpiece
crustysaltmerchant4 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Birdemic 3 - Sea Eagle is possibly the finest film ever made. Nguyen has managed to strike gold and challenges our understanding of film as an art form. Shots that are overexposed rendering the actors faces a white blur represent the white hot passion the director has for his subjects. Similarly the shots that are too dark and incorrectly colour balanced represent the darkness within the souls of the birds. Skillfully changing from shot to shot the lighting plays with our very notion of "acceptable". As does the entire cinematography, "crossing the line" is widely frowned upon in a stale industry and is indeed taught to film students as a big no no. Nguyen cocks a snook at this and gleefully teases the viewer with various camera angles at random, line be damned!

His mastery of sound should not go unnoticed too, long silent shots with no background noise remind us, the viewers that we are watching a film, a piece of art. The piercing artificial shrieks of the sea eagles are purposely off putting to remind us to pierce through the glitz and glamour on show and get to the truth held within. Something that Nguyen does that no other director has tried before and is truly visionary in its scope is to "un-mic" the actors. By rendering them mute so that their words are barely heard we are forced to rely upon the emotions displayed. Ah but once again Nguyen is one step ahead of us all and has instructed his actors to show no emotion whatsoever, in fact they barely react to anything that is happening around them, in what must be one of the bravest decisions in cinema history. Just when you think you have figured out what is happening, the Maestro out foxes us again by adjusting the sound levels insanely high and distorting the dialogue so that even though we heard the words, they have lost all meaning.

Whole scenes are filled exposition in a subversion of the great rule of filmmaking "show it, don't say it". We are therefore forced to watch as one person monotonously explains what is happening and the other responds in much the same way. Truly minimalistic acting is the way forward? I'd be disappointed if it wasn't. The films plot is in keeping with this minimalistic approach, by keeping it childishly simple the director misdirects the audience and instead delivers a film not about sea eagles or even birdemics, but an art piece, an art piece that is universal, love. They also mention global warming once or twice.

But enough from me and my humble opinion, watch for yourself and be challenged by a writer/director at the top of his game.
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1/10
Manages to be the worst of the franchise
Floated219 July 2023
Surprised to see that there was a third instalment of the Birdemic franchise and wonder as to why it took so long to come out (the second film released in 2013). Nearly a decade later, and somehow this film managed to be worse than both previous films. It is as if director James Nguyen has not learned anything and that he doesn't have a good support team around him giving him advice and feedback.

Given its rating and majority negative reviews, am not surprised this film was terrible. Opposed to the first two films, those had somewhat a sense of campy awareness and had some cheesy fun.

This third film is simply just boring and drags on. The two leads here are terrible (lead actor isn't convincing and sounds unnatural while lead female seems like she doesn't want to be there- no chemistry).

As others have pointed out. The birds (animated cgi birds) don't appear until nearly an hour in the film. Also what bothers is the main characters were openly seeking to kill the birds (we see then wander in the forest and beach with guns looking to kill them- why did they just not leave the birds alone? The birds were not bothering them at that point. We also see random people on their street near their houses try attacking the birds. For them as well. Why did they not just leave the birds alone, go back in their house or go travel elsewhere in their cars?

Also like the previous films, there's a brief karaoke dance scene. The song here is worse and not as catchy and the leads dancing was cringe. Overall Birdemic 3 managed to be the worse of the series and is one of the worst films in history. We wonder, Is this it or will there be a fourth film on the future.
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1/10
So bad it's TERRIBLE
samuelmirands26 April 2023
Warning: Spoilers
They got to make the trilogy even worse in this one. I actually like the first movie because of the "so bad it's good aspect", and Birdemic 2 added blood rain, zombies and a Piranha 3d (2010) reference scene but here there's no fun. Those things could save the second movie, which have a pretty terrible and boring screenplay aside that.

But Birdemic 3 really starts at the 57 min mark, ending 20 minutes later. Before that, there is this 57-minutes long nonsense ramble about climate change and global warming (we've seen that in the first two, but not this long). There are no animations in this first section of the movie and the actors have absolutely ZERO charisma, unlike the actors from the 2 first movies.

At the final minutes of the movie the main character of the first 2 reappears but he couldn't do much to save the day. Also, there is this a super stereotyped scene with a black guy playing a gangster or something, and it isn't funny at all, despite trying hard to be. YIKES!
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