Gracie Allen: Gracie Allen

Quotes 

• Dr. Wilbern : [Gracie fakes amnesia and confuses the doctor]  Let me try and follow this. Now, you came here today because you have a friend who has a brother you're trying to help, and this friend has amnesia.

  Gracie Allen : No.

  Dr. Wilbern : Then who has got the amnesia?

  Gracie Allen : You must have it.

  Dr. Wilbern : I do?

  Gracie Allen : Otherwise you'd remember I'M the one who has it.

• Dr. Wilbern : Mrs. Burns, have you ever had any falls or minor head injuries that you can remember?

  Gracie Allen : Well, no, no... I remember when I was a baby my nurse used to drop me a lot.

  Dr. Wilbern : I see. And did your parents do anything about this?

  Gracie Allen : Oh, sure! They hired a shorter nurse.

• Dr. Wilbern : [Gracie fakes amnesia]  Do you remember anything else about your childhood?

  Gracie Allen : No, no, I don't remember anything. I can't remember that I was born in San Francisco, I don't remember my mother or Hazel or Bessie or Pearl...

  Dr. Wilbern : And they were sisters?

  Gracie Allen : Yeah, but I don't remember whose!

• Gracie Allen : Oh, Hazel hasn't been very well. Her feet are killing her so she's gonna have glasses fitted.

  George Burns : She's gonna have glasses fitted because her feet are killing her?

  Gracie Allen : Sure! She couldn't see where she parked the car and she had to walk five miles to get home!

  George Burns : Well, if her eyes are that bad, how can she see where she's driving?

  Gracie Allen : She doesn't have to. She only drives on streets she's familiar with.

• Gracie Allen : Hazel says she's going to an octopus to see if she needs glasses.

  George Burns : She means an oculist.

  Gracie Allen : No. First she'll look at an octopus, and if she doesn't see eight legs, then she'll got to an oculist.

• Gracie Allen : You know, Hazel's eyes have always been bad. The last time I was home she wasted hours sitting in front of her washing machine.

  George Burns : Why did she do that?

  Gracie Allen : Well, there were two suits of long underwear inside and she thought they were wrestlers on television.

• Gracie Allen : Hazel's on a vacation now. She went to one of those islands in the West Indies.

  George Burns : Jamaica?

  Gracie Allen : No, I didn't make her. She wanted to go!

  George Burns : Would you mind repeating that?

  Gracie Allen : Hazel's on a vacation now, and she went to one of those islands in the West Indies.

  George Burns : Cuba?

  Gracie Allen : I didn't make her. She wanted to go!