The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Psychic Vortex (2010)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines]
Leonard Hofstadter : Look at us! Getting ready for a double date with actual women who publicly acknowledge they're our girlfriends.
Howard Wolowitz : Yes. Actual women are the best.
Sheldon Cooper : I don't understand. What other kind of women are there?
Leonard Hofstadter : Howard, artificial women are your department. You want to take this?
Howard Wolowitz : Nah. It would just freak him out.
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Leonard Hofstadter : What am I supposed to do? Pretend I believe something I don't whenever I'm with Penny?
Howard Wolowitz : Hey, I'm sure Penny fakes all kinds of things when she's with you.
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Howard Wolowitz : I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base.
Leonard Hofstadter : What the hell is eighth base?
Howard Wolowitz : Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt.
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Howard Wolowitz : [Watching Leonard melt his action figures with a laser] Are we taking our relationship frustrations out on innocent Cylons?
Leonard Hofstadter : Not just Cylons. Superman's next.
Howard Wolowitz : All right, I was going to try to squeeze in a little more mocking before lunch, but I can come back later when you don't have a high-powered weapon.
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Bernadette Rostenkowski : I'm starved. When you spend all day in a bio lab watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.
Howard Wolowitz : Flesh-eating bacteria, and yet I still want to kiss this woman. What does that tell you?
Penny : That you'd be willing to die a horrible death on the off chance you'd get to second base.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : We're way past second base. Right, Howard?
Howard Wolowitz : Uh, we kind of disagree about what the bases are.
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Rajesh Koothrappali : Namasté, white people! Good news. I've rented us the four-hour edition of Watchmen.
Leonard Hofstadter : Got it.
Howard Wolowitz : Seen it.
Sheldon Cooper : Detailed analysis posted online.
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Howard Wolowitz : I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard Hofstadter : And that didn't bother you?
Howard Wolowitz : Au contraire. It meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.
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Leonard Hofstadter : I hope you're hungry, Bernadette. We're going to a terrific restaurant.
Bernadette Rostenkowski : Oh, yeah, I'm starved. When you spend all day in a bio-lab watching flesh-eating bacteria skeletonize small rodents it really works up an appetite.
Howard Wolowitz : Flesh-eating bacteria and yet I still wanna kiss this woman. What does that tell you?
Penny : That you'd be willing to die a horrible death on the off chance you'd get to second-base?
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Howard Wolowitz : I should warn you, I'm a passionate man and I tend towards public displays of affection.
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Howard Wolowitz : Odds are she's a short physicist with low self-esteem who lives in a government research facility in China.
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Rajesh Koothrappali : Then what are we gonna do tonight?
Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry. Howard and I are going out with Penny and Bernadette.
Howard Wolowitz : Yeah, no more carefree bachelor nights for me and Leonard. These broncos have been saddled.
[imitates horse whinnying]
Howard Wolowitz : How did we get actual women?