- Bart Simpson: Oh, my God, I do want a brother.
- Lisa Simpson: You can have mine, but he's kinda lame.
- Bart Simpson: D'oh!
- Bart Simpson: Dad, I want a baby brother.
- Homer Simpson: Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life, and I ain't coming out.
- Bart Simpson: Lisa got a sister! Why can't you have another boy?
- Homer Simpson: Girls are easy! Girls love daddy. Girls make birthday cards with glitter on them. Girls can marry a hockey player and get me seats to hockey games. Girls don't steal my knives, and I don't have to tell girls how their bodies work, because I *don't* *know*.
- Bart Simpson: You never told me how my body works.
- Homer Simpson: Point and shoot.
- Marge Simpson: [the power goes out while Bart is playing a video game] A fallen branch must have knocked out the power line.
- Bart Simpson: Fine. Then I'll just watch TV.
- Marge Simpson: TV runs on electricity too.
- Bart Simpson: Then I'll watch a DVD. There's no way that runs on electricity.
- [Marge grumbles]
- Bart Simpson: Really? Does Obama know about this?
- Lisa Simpson: Next, making his runway debut, Bartholomew. The vest is courtesy of Nelson, and the tights are Hello Kitty.
- Bart Simpson: Hello Kitty? I thought they were Spider-Man heads! Ew, ew, ew!
- Otto Mann: [after striking Ralph with his bus] Oh, my God! I killed Kenny!
- Milhouse van Houten: [Corrects him] Ralph.
- Otto Mann: No, I killed Kenny yesterday. What was I doing now?
- Charlie: [hears rustling in the bushes] It's the Boogieman!
- Bart Simpson: There is no such thing as the Boogieman.
- Chief Wiggum: [Comes out of bushes] Boogie, boogie, boogie!
- Bart Simpson: Dad, I want a baby brother.
- Homer Simpson: Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life and I ain't coming out.
- Marge Simpson: [Marge and Homer are watching a Kama Sutra DVD] Which position should we try? The Yawning Monkey? The Pair of Tongs?
- Homer Simpson: Ooh , look, the Congress of the Crow!
- Marge Simpson: OK!
- Homer Simpson: [offscreen] Alright, your ankle goes there...
- Marge Simpson: Uh-huh, now hand me your neck.
- Homer Simpson: ...and turn that upside-down.
- Marge Simpson: Mm-hmm. Swivel back until you hear a grinding noise.
- Homer Simpson: Don't look at that!
- Marge Simpson: A few more minor adjustments, and...
- Marge Simpson, Homer Simpson: [both scream] Owwww!
- Lisa Simpson: [to Bart] Maggie and I share the deepest bond there is: sisterhood. We'll be closer than best friends for the rest of our lives, but you'll never know what that's like, because you won't ever have a brother.
- Bart Simpson: I don't need a brother. I'm a bad ass loner like Wolverine, who leaves whenever people beg him not to leave.
- Marge Simpson: [after finding Bart tampering with her birth control pills] Bart, you've always been a handful, but you've never interfered with my reproductive freedom. Why now?
- Bart Simpson: I just wanted a baby brother, but Dad said I was one "Uday" who didn't need a "Qusay."
- Lisa Simpson: [about Charlie] Bart, who is this kid?
- Bart Simpson: Be cool, be cool. He's an orphan. You know, just like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow.
- Charlie: I hate it so much!