- Charlie Harper: [Noticing Alan is wearing his boxers] Why are you wearing my underwear?
- Alan Harper: [Noticing Charlie is wearing his white briefs] Why are you wearing mine?
- Alan Harper: Who would've guessed that of the two of us, I'd end up being the care-free bachelor?
- Charlie Harper: If, by care-free, you mean broke and homeless, then everyone could have guessed that.