- Conan O'Brien: [during "In the Year 3000"] NBC will become a pay TV channel. For every hour you watch it, they will pay you fifty dollars.
- Conan O'Brien: [during "In the Year 3000"] After Radio Shack changes its name to "The Shack" and Pizza Hut changes its name to "The Hut", The Olive Garden will change its name to "The Horrible Restaurant".
- Andy Richter: [during "In the Year 3000"] Rob Lowe will start to look a tiny bit older.
- [after audience laughter]
- Andy Richter: It's chilling. Chilling.
- Conan O'Brien: [after noting that the band's been watching the baseball game during the show] Who had the balls to do that? Who was it, just tell me who it was.
- [Jerry Vivino raises his hand]
- Conan O'Brien: Was it you, Jerry? Was it because this game determines who the Yankees play? Okay. Well you're fired. I can do that, right? Because I'm a Red Sox fan.
- [audience laughter/a few boos]
- Conan O'Brien: Boo. Argh, argh, argh! Boo! Yay, yay. Yay boo, yay boo, it's lots of fun to do. If you like it, holler "yay", and if ya don't, ya holler "boo".
- [audience laughter; Conan knocks over his desk mic]
- Conan O'Brien: My apologies to everyone.