Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator (2009)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Charlie Harper : He's just a teenager. You know, that awkward phase between junior high and methadone clinic.

• Chelsea : You have a girlfriend, Jake?

  Jake Harper : That's kinda personal, isn't it?

  Chelsea : I just want to know.

  Jake Harper : Why? Are you writing a book?

  Charlie Harper : Yeah. It's called, "The Day Jake's Uncle Kicked His Ass."

• Chelsea : [after Jake is rude to her]  I don't get it. What did I do?

  Charlie Harper : I'll tell you what you did. You anthropomorphized him.

  Chelsea : What?

  Charlie Harper : It means treating something as human when it's really not. Kinda like what you do with your cat, which, frankly, makes more sense.

• Chelsea : He didn't even say, "thank you".

  Charlie Harper : He's leaving the room. We should be thanking *him*.