How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)
Robin 101 (2009)
Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin
Quotes
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Ted Mosby : [In Classroom] Which brings us to an important point: defusing the bomb.
Robin Scherbatsky : [Apartment] "Defusing the bomb"? What does that even mean?
Lily Aldrin : [Reading] "Three Topics To Distract Robin From Being Mad At You."
Robin Scherbatsky : "Distract" me? Oh, that is so condescending. These guys are really starting to piss me off!
[Throws something]
Lily Aldrin : "Immediately switch the conversation To one of the following, unless you want Robin to start throwing her shoes."
[Shots flip between Ted at the classroom and Robin at the apartment]
Ted Mosby : One: Vancouver Canucks 2004 Division Title.
Robin Scherbatsky : What? That's not distracting. That's just talking about the story of a scrappy little underdog team that prevailed despite very shaky goal ending and, frankly, the declining skills of Trevor Linden.
Ted Mosby : Two: Proper Gun Cleaning and Maintenance.
Robin Scherbatsky : You have to clean your gun. My uncle had a filthy old shotgun, blew both his thumbs off trying to shoot a beaver. You want to distract someone, make them watch my uncle try to eat corn on the cob.
Ted Mosby : Three: Emperor Penguins.
Robin Scherbatsky : Did you know that before intercourse, the male and female emperor penguins bow to each other?
[Bows]
Robin Scherbatsky : Mr. Penguin.
[Bows]
Robin Scherbatsky : Mrs. Penguin. Oh, God, silly penguins, acting all fancy.
[laughs]
Robin Scherbatsky : What were we talking about?
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Robin Scherbatsky : Look, I'm not the touchy-feely-est person in the world, but a little more effort would be nice.
Lily Aldrin : I understand. I guess, in a lot of ways, Barney doesn't stack up. I mean, you've had some pretty incredible boyfriends.
[Look over at Ted]
Ted Mosby : [Repeating at different pitches] Bowl. Booo-wl. Bowl. Bowl.
Robin Scherbatsky : No, that's not it.
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Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, can I just say that my deepest need in life not to have my father to say, "I am proud of you, eh?"
Lily Aldrin : So why are you crying now?
Robin Scherbatsky : [Teary] I'm not crying.