I'll get this out of the way right off the bat. This is not a movie. It just stops partway through. There's no ending. It sets up a bunch of stuff but doesn't pay off any of it. There's a fungus or something but that goes nowhere. There's a professor they are working with to do something. There's a research assistant that gets some on her. There's something up with the research assistant but we never find out what. We see some sort of hatchet prop that was definitely not made by the unspecific local Indian tribe but we never find out what that is. There's not just one but two curmudgeonly old guys who tell them to not go down that road. Of course they go out there anyway because movie. They get chased around by a vague monster for a while. Then of the characters says. "That's enough for one day" or something like that and it just stops. There is no ending. It just stops. It's almost like they got 2/3rd of the way through the movie and then ran out of money.
3 Reviews
Another pointless Blair Witch rip-off
Leofwine_draca14 April 2017
Warning: Spoilers
FORESTS OF MYSTERY is another lame-o BLAIR WITCH rip-off with so little material to see it through that it lasts for barely an hour. The plot is about a small film crew going to investigate a supposedly haunted forest, but the first forty-five minutes of the film merely consist of them interviewing various townsfolk who recount ghost stories and the like.
It's as dull as it sounds, not helped by an entire lack of menace and story. Things pick up for some forest-set action in the last 15 minutes, but don't go in expecting a resolution or anything normal like that; this is just aimless and pointless in equal measure.
It's as dull as it sounds, not helped by an entire lack of menace and story. Things pick up for some forest-set action in the last 15 minutes, but don't go in expecting a resolution or anything normal like that; this is just aimless and pointless in equal measure.
This Film Put Me in Mind of...
tmccull524 March 2020
Warning: Spoilers
... little kids running around the woods with toy guns, playing army. Not that any of the characters actually do this, it's just that this movie is of that kind of quality.
Our intrepid heroes, Dewey and Jeff, are bound and determined to explore and expose the mysteries of the deep Tillamook Forest. There is strange phenomena in and around the Tillamook, ranging from unusually large and malformed insect life, to strange plant life. In the pursuit of their investigation, they seek advice and assistance from a variety of sources, and they are run off at gunpoint by one source, and enter into a clandestine arrangement with the other.
This movie is basically two guys running around the woods with a camera, spouting metaphysical nonsense. Dewey is the believer, and Jeff is the skeptical one behind the camera. Yes, Jeff is skeptical.
Then, he isn't.
Then, he is.
Then, he isn't.
Then he is.
Then, he isn't.
After not quite receiving the help that they actually wanted, Dewey and Jeff head off to the mysterious Grid D-14, sort of the Bermuda Triangle of the Tillamook Forest. They hear mysterious noises. They find what looks like an old cabin. Next to the cabin, they find what appears to be gnawed upon animal carcasses. Dewey takes one of the carcasses and stuffs it into his shoulder bag, and then our stalwart investigative duo are chased off by mystery monsters.
The film ends with them crouched and in hiding in the woods, discussing what their next move is going to be. This seems to promise a sequel. Please, please break this promise. Please.
Our intrepid heroes, Dewey and Jeff, are bound and determined to explore and expose the mysteries of the deep Tillamook Forest. There is strange phenomena in and around the Tillamook, ranging from unusually large and malformed insect life, to strange plant life. In the pursuit of their investigation, they seek advice and assistance from a variety of sources, and they are run off at gunpoint by one source, and enter into a clandestine arrangement with the other.
This movie is basically two guys running around the woods with a camera, spouting metaphysical nonsense. Dewey is the believer, and Jeff is the skeptical one behind the camera. Yes, Jeff is skeptical.
Then, he isn't.
Then, he is.
Then, he isn't.
Then he is.
Then, he isn't.
After not quite receiving the help that they actually wanted, Dewey and Jeff head off to the mysterious Grid D-14, sort of the Bermuda Triangle of the Tillamook Forest. They hear mysterious noises. They find what looks like an old cabin. Next to the cabin, they find what appears to be gnawed upon animal carcasses. Dewey takes one of the carcasses and stuffs it into his shoulder bag, and then our stalwart investigative duo are chased off by mystery monsters.
The film ends with them crouched and in hiding in the woods, discussing what their next move is going to be. This seems to promise a sequel. Please, please break this promise. Please.
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