User Reviews

The best things that The Retirement Plan has going for it all hinge on the inherent comedic edge of its wacky premise. Sadly, these things are hardly ever the focus.

In fact, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen almost every good moment in this movie.

A handful of impressive moments arise when the great Nic Cage is allowed to flex his humorous energy as he kills people in hilarious fashion, and these moments were the one saving grace that kept the movie watchable.

Sadly, for most of the runtime, we're treated to a whole lot of nothing.

It's very poorly directed, having all the style of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie. And the script gives the characters absolutely nothing of interest to do and no intriguing interactions to have as they fumble their way through this generic, convoluted, banal, creatively bankrupt story without an ounce of a soul.

Oh, and the music sucks too. I'd be shocked if it all wasn't just stock action-movie music pulled off of iMovie.

This is where actors go to die. Movies where the story, the plot, the directing, the editing and, yes, the acting are boringly bad.

Remember Rorschach from Watchmen? Remember Ben Sanderson from Leaving Las Vegas or Stanley Goodspeed from The Rock? Remember Salvatore from The Name of the Rose or Hellboy? Same actors, none of the effort. Lazy, predictable, soulless production that doesn't even deserve the required characters length for the imdb review.

I guess people need to eat and all three of these actors have said in the past that they work whatever comes their way, but that doesn't excuse the lack of conviction in their acting in this film. I bet even they hated doing it.

Bottom line: Nothing to see here. Move along.

High concept that goes nowhere. There were a few plusses: Nick Cage as a trained killer is always fun. The little girl was suitably cute. The script featured good grammar and complete sentences.

Otherwise, the by-the-numbers script was unrelentingly pointless, predictable, and dull. The direction was about the level I'd expect from an average episode of "the A-Team", plus the stupid "introduce each character with a freeze-frame and their name in text", which became old and tiresome long before the little-girl hostage was born.

What really pisses me off about this one is that Ron Perlman was giving it his all, I mean, he really rose above the horrible script, until he couldn't anymore, and was let down by a stupid ending that didn't pay off anything it was building to.

In fact, I could say that about the whole movie, except none of the actors really put much into it. Ashley Greene could easily have been replaced by a block of balsa wood, Grace Byers should have been given a mustache to twirl, and Real-Acting-People Jackie Earle Haley and Ernie Hudson could have been played by an A. I. trained by their previous roles. No one else had a discernible personality.

Recommended if you are high, have some junk food handy, and want to waste 103 minutes of your evening without using your brain.

Always up for a Nic Cage film. When I saw the trailer, it looked like a good premise and had some talent attached to it. I was just waiting for a DTV release date. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it received a theatrical release. After walking out of the theatre, I completely understand why it is scheduled to drop down to one showing a day for it second week theatrically.

Every known name involved must've been persuaded by the idea of picking up a quick paycheck while soaking up some sun in Miami and the Cayman Islands.

A good story idea.....poor acting, dialogue, script, action set pieces, cinematography, squibs, plug-ins, and I could go on for a lot more.

Nic Cage always brings something to one of his films, but it's very little in this one. There was one semi creative action scene, set up inside his hotel room, but otherwise, these characters seem to spend more time answering their cell phones, then firing a gun.

I watched this movie because of the cast.

Cage, Pearlman & Haley where so far above the rest of the actors it was painfully obvious.

The story is a poor, watered down, regurgitation of several other films. Its a mess that's 20 mins too long in its runtime.

Perlman was better in this movie than his recent 'Baker' role. Cage seemed to calling it in long distance. While Haley looked like he was waiting for the final scene. In saying that, they really are the glue that hold this whirlwind of plainess together.

The action was a step behind, the continuity was lacking and the script was remedial (maybe even A. I. lol).

Ernie Hudson must have worked cheap. Cause his role is pointless and overacted.

I watched many segments on fast forward.

I was excited to see the continued resurgence of Nick Cage on the big screen. But don't be fooled. Everything about The Retirement Plan reeks of streaming movie inferiority. I was barely engaged. I cared little about the story or the characters, even during the climax.

It feels like they had an idea for a movie and an outline of the story. Then they filled in the rest with the most basic writing imaginable. I'm not sure if the writer's strike affected this movie or if it's just bad writing. But it's like they get the bare minimum from each scene.

The dialogue is bad. There are multiple times where a character is just describing what happened even though we just saw it happen. The action scenes aren't good enough to add any value to the movie. And they keep introducing major characters more than halfway through the movie.

Cage is a beast and I hope he gets roles in more actual theatrical movies rather than streaming movies that are pushed into theaters. (1 viewing, opening Friday 9/15/2023)

My A$$ Nicholas Cage has a retirement plan. He will star in his own embalming video: "This fluid is colder than my blood and smells bad but I guess that's what ppl do....... anyway it's seeping into my cranium now so gotta run. Think of me come Oscar & Golden (plated) Globe time! It was great staying active so long!! I SHOULD HAVE won something for Raising Arizona, & didn't. Shouldn't have won for leaving Los Vegas, although Elizabeth Shue should have. "The Golden (plated) Globes and Oscars should be talent/performance-based, NOT a popularity contest. In all seriousness this movie was funny for Nic Cage standards. He can be anything from outstanding to horse-dookie depending on the script and direction. For example watch "City of Angels" in which he (and Meg Ryan) made a far reaching sctript into an emotional, into genius work.

I dunno - it's the same type of thing he puts out a half dozen times a year. Watch at own risk.

Just like most of you, i get exited when a new Cage movie comes up and want it to be a really good one. However, his movies are of a hit and miss category and you never really now what you're gonna get. This one is a complete waste of time. Plot has been seen hundreds of times, acting is sub-par, and action sequences are just silly. To sum this movie up: a colossal waste if time. I had to skip thru last 45 minutes of the movie just to see if it's leading someplace interesting, but it remained a boring pile of amateurism for the duration. Not sure who sits in these production offices for movie companies, and who makes decisions, but am pretty sure that I can do a better job. Unless they are laundering cash, this movie is an absolute "direct to the bin" candidate.

Nicolas Cage films are always a hit or a miss, his entire career actually. This is a film that without it's charming cast or it's neatly interwoven storyline would have been a total dumpster fire. Therefore making it a perfect Nicolas Cage film.

The acting ranges vastly from silly to serious, same goes for the films tone. It bounces between funny and dramatic in an instant and it's never sure which one to settle on. However, again with the films strange charm, it's all somehow inexplicably smoothed over in the end.

Overall, I'm surprised I enjoyed it. Most of the film feels like a made for tv special but for some strange reason, I kept wanting to watch til the very end. Am I glad I did? I'm not sure yet, but I do know it was an entertaining way to waste an afternoon.

3 flash drives out of 5.

Yes it's cheesy and reminds you of watching a universal studios stunt double show but despite it being cheesy it was so good to see so many talented actors on the silver screen again. It's light, at times comical and best of all, I was never bored.

Nicholas Cage has a grandfather really hit home that we are all growing older. He's not the 20 year old actor anymore and has developed his trade like a fine wine. The same can be true for Ron Pearlman.. when did he become a character you loved to hate! Oh right, SOA!

Go see it, enjoy it for what it is. Just a good movie with lots of action, a little comedic relief and a cast of greats!

This movie straddles the line between campy spoof and dark comedy, and pretty much misses the mark on both. Although there is indeed some hilarity throughout, the convoluted criminality with absurd layers of hyper espionage makes it mostly a mish-mash mess of meandering maladjustments. It coulda shoulda woulda been much funnier except for the stilted direction, wasting some fine supporting actors. It might be worthy of a second viewing with the expectation of nothing more than nonsensical silliness which it does deliver as only a Cage movie can all the way through to what has to be an intentionally inept ending.

Scrolling down my notes and I found this review. I watched this a while ago and forgot to post it. I actually don't remember hating this movie lol. But this is what I wrote walking out the cinema.

Feels like a B list c list movie from the start. Like a movie from the 90's featuring Steven segeal. Something that terantino could've/should've made better. Acting's not great; there was a lot of just shouting and even when they weren't, it felt like they're acting in a commercial and it's dubbed. Dialogue wasn't great. Felt unoriginal. The edits were also silly.

What kinda gangster texts with emojis like "we've got a problem😔" lmao be serious.

It feels like every actor involved was probably so just to get paid. The characters are over the top, used to it from Nick cage at this point.

The script and story was bland. It was also predictable. I was literally praying they didn't end up at the same hotel. Costumes and makeup were terrible. The blood literally looked like ketchup. A lot of the character decisions didn't make sense. Only scene I liked was the scuba diver part.

Dialogue was uninspired, comedy wasn't funny, story was basic, acting sucked, action was unentertaining It tries to turn into an espionage film in the third act I had nothing to do so I went to watch this, and I'd rather have spent my afternoon doing nothing.

This is pretty much exactly what you'd expect going into it. Cage is pure Cage, just not really caring and going through the motions in the best way possible. This movie has somewhat big names in it, Cage included which is kind of surprising. The production value seems very low for the aforementioned fairly big names. None of the bad guys are horribly scary or even good at being bad guys. My thought watching this was "these are the least intimidating bad guys I've ever seen in a movie ever." If you turn your brain off and just laugh at Cage doing his thing you will find some enjoyment in this. If you go in with high expectations you will be disappointed.

Wonderfully familiar faces of very talented actors was the highlight in this movie. Included in this non Hollywood budgeted film, is a great setting and top notch camera work. Mostly an enjoyable experience.

However, If inconsistencies easily pull you from the brink of the necessary suspension of disbelief (ie: constantly calling a flash/thumb drive a hard drive, or a dial tone coming from a cell phone) then you may want to skip this one.

The movie has good intentions, and it's familiar. Just a bit out of modern day touch.

Had it been about an older generations struggle to stay on top in a world they obviously don't understand anymore. (Made more comedic situations.) I think audiences could get behind that with bells on. Nick Cage has a unique comedic voice I wish we could see more often and in more depth. After all, as us older generations navigate such a changed world, we often find the humor in it.

It's a shame such a great cast was wasted on this missed opportunity. As great as the casting was and as colorful as the characters were, it was the amateurish filmmaking that ultimately brought this film down.

The story was very convoluted and lacked much clarity. Although cliched, it did have merits, especially with the help of the cast performances, excellent cinematography, and scenic location settings, but the attempts at humor were too weak and too dry to elevate any laughs.

But the major issue with this film was the overwhelming and abundance of rookie filmmaking errors, especially the failure to direct the cast effectively, and choreograph the action scenes properly. The directing overall felt too dull and was underwhelming to create any real urgency to the narrative or its characters. If you can look past all of this, you may have a somewhat enjoyable one-time watch, even if just to see the awesome cast having fun.

The Retirement Plan is directed by Tim Brown and stars Nicolas Cage, Ashley Greene, Ron Perlman, Jackie Earle Haley and Ernie Hudson.

This is the fourth Nicolas Cage movie of the year following The Old Way, Renfield and Sympathy For The Devil it's not his last either as he has A24's upcoming Dream Scenario (which has been getting great buzz from TIFF by the way) dropping in early November.

Unfortunately The Retirement Plan isn't that good and it's mostly entirely carried by Nicolas Cage who never turns in a bad performance or phones any role in. Sadly this feels more like an excuse for the cast/ crew to take a mini vacation to the Cayman Islands for a week or two then for a good reason to even make this movie. It's fun and good enough for a one time watch but that's about it.

I didn't really regret watching the movie since I don't mind a no brainer every now and then, but I was sad to see all this great talent go to waste.. I mean Jackie Earle Haley of Little Children has a silly corky dialogue that doesn't stick or actually feel thought through.. Same with Ron Perlman..

The whole film feels like a prolonged episode of Baywatch.

You can spot all the stunt doubles throughout the entire film.

It felt like everyone was lazy acting and no one really gave a damn about how the movie will turn out to be.

Nic Cage still has it somehow, and by "it" I mean the ability to really confuse everyone if he's actually acting a script or just improvising as he goes.

The movie is good for a fun no brainer watch and that's it.

And I mean this in the best of ways. Almost everyone in the cast is recognizable from other projects. All great actors. Yet here, it is clear they're having a blast and care less about any potential awards.

It's funny, the action is ridiculously entertaining, and the story has a moment of grace of each of its main characters, where they can showcase their tremendous talent.

Don't come in expecting any more than what the trailer promises you, and you'll have a great time. I don't remember the exact quote, but in "Pig", Nicholas Cage gave advice to the younger chef: stop doing things because of what others expect you to do, just do what you love, whether it's fine dining or junk food.

Well, this movie delivers on that promise. Everyone involved know it's junk food, and they're having the time of their life with it. It's been a while since I enjoyed junk food without feeling guilty for the calories! 🤣

Finally a movie that doesn't take itself too seriously and just tries to entertain. Clearly low budget, but also NICK CAGE!!!!

The story: totally implausible.

The acting: it's a Cage movie, so over acting galore.

The twists: pretty predictable.

The laughs: plenty of them.

Didn't check my watch once, just laughed and enjoyed the movie for what it was. Anyone expecting Oscar level anything that watched this must be too stupid to realize what they signed up for. Quit whining and go watch some 3-hour critical darling that no normal person finds remotely appealing. I'll take movies like this every time!!!

This film should have been released directly to the Mystery Science Theater 300 gang. It's so poorly directed and edited that it's HILARIOUS! Bring back heckling the movies! There has to be a drinking game in here somewhere... every time the dialog drags or goes off topic, drink.

Genuinely bad-funny.

This film should have been released directly to the Mystery Science Theater 300 gang. It's so poorly directed and edited that it's HILARIOUS! Bring back heckling the movies! There has to be a drinking game in here somewhere... every time the dialog drags or goes off topic, drink.

Genuinely bad-funny.

I know Nic Cage is broke but why does that stop him acting properly? He used to be a pretty good actor and I can think of many movies of his that were very enjoyable. This one has a cliched plot but could still have been enoyable 90 minutes instead of just meh.

There are a couple of scenes or lines. That are genuinely amusing but far too few to support an entire movie.

It is very sad to see Cage doing what looks like an.impersonation of Steven Segal. I don't mean when he is faking being old.but in the parts when he is being a real action hero. We all get old but choose different roles if you are not up to the part. In any case Cage is only 59. Disappointing.