The Addams Family (TV Series)

Hide and Go Lurch/Hook, Line and Stinkers/A Sword Fightin' Thing (1992)

Nancy Linari: Morticia Addams

Quotes 

• Morticia Addams : Darling, remember what I wore on our honeymoon?

  [holds up a pair of stocks] 

  Gomez Addams : Ah, Tish! You looked so good in mahogany...

• Morticia Addams : Wednesday, be a dear and fetch your uncle, please.

  Wednesday Addams : 'Tis my pleasure, Mother... Behold, a pile of ants!

  [Fester appears with a spoon and a bottle of ketchup] 

• Pugsley Addams : Dad, Uncle Fester, what's the big deal about an old horn?

  Gomez Addams : Only the greatest game we ever played, son!

  Uncle Fester : Yeah, back when we were little fryers like you!

  Gomez Addams : First, we blow the horn as loud as we could...

  Uncle Fester : Hopefully passing out from hyperventilation...

  [laughs] 

  Gomez Addams : ...then Lurch would have until midnight to find us!

  Morticia Addams : And he always did.

  Gomez Addams : Ah, that's right, Tish! In all those years, we never once could shake the big fella! Except that one time we tied him to the faultline...

• Morticia Addams : I'm off to the funeral parlour to preview next year's caskets. We do so need to replace the one in the bedroom.

  Gomez Addams : Aunt Stiffy will appreciate it! Have fun, cara mia!

  Morticia Addams : Au revoir, darling.

  Gomez Addams : [excited]  Tish! You spoke French!

  [goes for Morticia's hand] 

  Morticia Addams : Gomez, dear, you're supposed to be relaxing.

  Gomez Addams : Oh... ah... oh, that's right! Have fun, querida!

• Morticia Addams : Gomez, dear, are you feeling rested yet?

  Gomez Addams : [in a spiked bed]  Not yet!

  Morticia Addams : Well, it certainly doesn't look very comfortable in there.

  Gomez Addams : It's not! Before long, my back will be a twisted mass of pain!

  Morticia Addams : Good!

• [Morticia arrives home to find Gomez and Thing exhausted from swordfighting, Gomez in a cramped position] 

  Morticia Addams : Gomez darling? Thing? Oh dear, if Gomez sleeps like that he'll wake up all stiff and twisted. Won't he be relaxed! Thank you, Thing.