- P.J. Franklin: Speaking of drinks, next round's on me. Who needs?
- Brendan Dorff: Yeah, it is.
- [Mike's pager from Maggie rings]
- Mike Callahan: [leaving] Oh! Count me out, suckers. Dr. Mike has got to make a house call. Time to deliver 10cc's of love, stat.
- Mike Callahan: [returning] Ope! Just the battery's low. What're we drinkin'?
- P.J. Franklin: [looking spiffed up] Well, I took some photos today 'cause I have a column.
- Mike Callahan: That's why you give the hot chick the column. Somebody wants to look at pictures of an old, bald, wrinkly dude.
- P.J. Franklin: Well, I don't really think that's why I got the column.
- Mike Callahan: Oh, come on, PJ. Don't be naive. You think that your looks have nothing to do with you getting that promotion?
- P.J. Franklin: No. I would like to think it's because I earned it.
- Mike Callahan: By bein' hot!
- P.J. Franklin: By being a good writer.
- Bobby Newman: You are a GREAT writer.
- P.J. Franklin: Thank you. You are a little biased.
- Kenny Morittori: He's right. You are a great writer - with long blonde hair and a great set of legs. No offense, Bobby.
- Bobby Newman: All good.
- Andy Franklin: Like the late John Updike. Nice set of getaway sticks on THAT guy.
- [P.J. is mad because the guys think she got promoted based on her looks]
- Mike Callahan: You're a hot chick who knows sports, okay? It's a novelty. It's like... it's like a boxing kangaroo.
- Brendan Dorff: Yeah. Hot chicks make everything better. Hot chicks and football - cheerleaders.
- Mike Callahan: Hot chicks and politics - Sarah Palin.
- Kenny Morittori: You still think she's hot?
- Mike Callahan: It's the glasses. I have a thing for smart chicks.
- Kenny Morittori: You still think she's smart?
- Andy Franklin: Let me help you out, Bobby. See, you're in a relationship now. What you think, your opinions, they don't matter anymore. If you wanna be happy, just remember this: she's always right.
- Bobby Newman: Right, but we're in the same field. You know, we're colleagues.
- Andy Franklin: I don't think you understand. See, you're wearing the journalist hat when you should be wearing the boyfriend hat.
- Andy Franklin: Things are different now that you're dating. You used to wear the friend hat or the journalist hat, but now you're the boyfriend. You just get the one.
- Kenny Morittori: This is the greatest bar in the world.
- Brendan Dorff: Yeah, it's not bad.
- Kenny Morittori: No. You don't understand. They have everything - games on big screen, prices that aren't obscene, girls that are not mean.
- [Two identical girls walk past]
- Brendan Dorff: And TWINS!
- Bobby Newman: [trying to understand Andy's boyfriend advice] So I do NOTHING?
- Andy Franklin: No. You listen, and just answer "yeah" and "uh-huh" and watch everything work itself out.
- Bobby Newman: THAT'S wearing the boyfriend hat?
- Andy Franklin: Yeah.
- Bobby Newman: And you really think that'll work.
- Andy Franklin: Uh-huh.
- Bobby Newman: 'Cause I don't know if PJ's gonna fall for that.
- Andy Franklin: Yeah?
- Bobby Newman: Yeah.
- Andy Franklin: Uh-huh.
- Bobby Newman: Oh, I see what you're doing.
- Andy Franklin: Yeah?
- Bobby Newman: You're very good at this.
- Andy Franklin: Uh-huh.