Photos
Quotes
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Mercedes Jones : [During a song rehearsal, Rachel Berry kicks and nearly hits Mercedes in the face] Whoa, whoa. Hell to the nah! First of all, you try to bust my face again and I will cut you. And also, this song is terrible.
Will Schuester : Okay, no, no. It's not the song, you guys just need to get into it.
Kurt Hummel : No, it's the song. It's really gay.
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Sue Sylvester : I just blasted my hammies.
Will Schuester : Oh.
Sue Sylvester : Iron tablet? Keeps your strength up while you're menstruating.
Will Schuester : I don't menstruate.
Sue Sylvester : Yeah? Neither do I.
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Will Schuester : My father always said you'd become a man when you bought your first house. I'm not sure what he meant though because he burned ours down during a drunken fight with mom.
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Sue Sylvester : So, I had a little chat with Principal Figgins, and he said that if your group doesn't place at regionals, he's cutting the program. Ouch.
Will Schuester : You know, you don't have to worry about Glee Club. We're gonna be fine.
Sue Sylvester : Really? 'Cause I was at the local library, where I read "Cheerleading Today" aloud to blind geriatrics, and I came across this little page turner. "Show Choir Rule Book". And it turns out you need twelve kids to qualify for regionals. Last time I looked, you only had five and a half.
[handing the book to him]
Sue Sylvester : Here. Cripple in the wheelchair. I also took the liberty of highlighting some special ed classes for you; maybe you could find some recruits, 'cause I'm not sure there's anybody else who's gonna want to swim over to your island of misfit toys.
Will Schuester : Are you threatening me, Sue?
Sue Sylvester : Threatening you? Oh, no, no, no. Presenting you with an opportunity to compromise yourself? You betcha. Let's break it down. You want to be creative. You want to be in the spotlight. Face it, you want to be me. So here's the deal: you do with your depressing little group of kids what I did with my wealthy, elderly mother: euthanize it. It's time. And then I'll be happy to offer you a job as my second assistant on Cheerios. You can fetch me Gatorade, launder my soiled delicates. It'll be very rewarding work for you.
Will Schuester : You know what, Sue? I politely decline your offer. Glee Club is here to stay. I believe in my kids. I know you're used to being the cock of the walk around here...
Sue Sylvester : Offensive.
Will Schuester : ...but it looks like your Cheerios are going to have some competition. We're going to show at regionals. You have my word on that.
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Will Schuester : [voice over] My father always said you become a man when you buy your first house. I'm not sure what he meant by that since he burned ours down once after a drunken fight with mom.
Peggy : Welcome to your little slice of the American dream.
Terri Schuester : I have a question about the trees. It's always been my personal dream to cut down my own Christmas tree. How many Christmas trees will we have in the backyard? And do they come in different colours because... well obviously we're starting a family and I have a real sense that it's going to be a girl.
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Terri Schuester : This banister was made by Ecuadorian children.
[Terri Schuester gasps in delight]
Will Schuester : It's great Terri but there are nine foreclosures on our street. Why can't we just buy one of those? They are half the price.
Terri Schuester : I'm not raising our baby in a used house. They're not clean!
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Terri Schuester : Come with me, I'm going to show you something really special.
[Terri leads him to a child's room done entirely in pink]
Terri Schuester : This is where our daughter or our gay son will sleep. I thought maybe we could put one of those mini pianos in here and you two could put on mini shows for me.
Will Schuester : I love it Terri but we still can't afford everything.
Terri Schuester : It's my very own Sophie's Choice.
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Will Schuester : Everybody loves disco!
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Rachel Berry : Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.
Will Schuester : Do you understand what you did today? You lied to me. And you ruined our chances. No parent in their right mind is gonna let their kid join Glee now. Oh, and, uh, here's a list of the songs that we're allowed to sing.
Rachel Berry : What's a "luftballoon"?
Will Schuester : Look, I know how much you care about Glee Club. And I understand why you did what you did. But I don't like the way you did it.
