- Ron Swanson: I don't want this parks department to build any parks because I don't believe in government. I think that all government is a waste of taxpayer money.
- Ron Swanson: My dream is to have the parks system privatized and run entirely for profit, by corporations.
- Leslie Knope: And this is our college intern, April. She's going to be documenting our fact-finding mission.
- Ann Perkins: Hey, April.
- April Ludgate: Hey.
- Ann Perkins: Is this... fun? For you?
- April Ludgate: [tonelessly] Yeah. So much fun.
- Tom Haverford: Problem is anything over $25 I have to report. So uh maybe give my wife a call and give her the suits, and then if they don't fit her maybe she'll give them to me?
- Mark Brendanawicz: Leslie is - unique. Um... Government work can beat you down. I would say that I lost my optimism about government in about two months. Leslie's kept hers for six years.