- Kate Beckett: If she's so bad, then why'd you sleep with her this morning?
- Richard Castle: Let me tell you something about crazy people. The sex is unbelievable.
- Kate Beckett: How shallow are you?
- Richard Castle: Very.
- [talking about Castle's ex-wife planning to move back to New York]
- Richard Castle: Well, what do you want me to do, Mother? It's not like I could ban her from New York.
- Martha Rogers: And this whole theater thing, it's ridiculous. You know, she hasn't landed a role in months. Uh-huh. That's right. I made a couple of calls. Why do you think she's moving back to New York? She can't get *arrested* in L.A.!
- Richard Castle: I wonder if she could get arrested in New York. I know people now.
- Kate Beckett: You dragged me in here so that you could read from your own book?
- Richard Castle: Hey, there's a lot of good stuff in here, and some of it is factual.
- Meredith: [after Castle and his ex-wife have sex] We have had fun, haven't we?
- Richard Castle: Oh, yeah.
- Meredith: Makes you wonder why we ever got divorced.
- Richard Castle: I know, right? I mean, except for you... having an affair with your director... and moving to Malibu and serving me with divorce papers... I think we really had a chance.
- Meredith: I'm moving back.
- Richard Castle: [drops the fun and looks stunned] Back to New York?
- Meredith: [bouncing with happiness] I miss it. I miss it. I miss Alexis. I miss you.
- Richard Castle: [unsuccessfully trying to hide an unhappy expression] Um, what about your career?
- Meredith: L.A.'s changed. I, the juicy roles just aren't there for an actress of my caliber. I need a change. Like Broadway, maybe. The legitimate stage.
- Richard Castle: Yeah. Well, ho-ho-ho. Wow. Time out, hey. Wait a minute. Meredith, hold on. Have you really... thought this through?
- Meredith: [grinning lasciviously] Oh, what's to think about? You, me, Alexis, all living in the same city. It's gonna be just like old times.
- [She moves in to kiss him and, over her shoulder, the camera captures his look of horror]
- [at Castle's direction, Esposito opens the victim's mouth and pulls out a bag containing a metal disk]
- Javier Esposito: What does it mean?
- Richard Castle: It's Vodun.
- Javier Esposito: Vodun? What is that, some kind of Star Trek thing?
- [grins mockingly]
- Kevin Ryan: No, dude, it's a religion practiced primarily in West Africa.
- [when the others look at him]
- Kevin Ryan: What? I read, too.
- Richard Castle: The, uh, blood in the bowl? Most likely animal. Part of the ceremony. The pouch is an offering to the spirits, but I don't recognize the symbol.
- Javier Esposito: You did, you'd be a suspect. So how do you know about all this?
- Richard Castle: Research for my sixth Derek Storm novel.
- Kevin Ryan: "Unholy Storm".
- Richard Castle: Yes, thank you. And, uh, Vodun's not just limited to West Africa. It's also practiced by Haitian and Dominican communities right here in New York.
- Richard Castle: Michelle taught me everything I know about Vodun.
- Michelle: Which, obviously, isn't much. That scene with the topless girl and the chicken blood? What was that?
- [Kate looks away, trying not to laugh]
- Richard Castle: I took a few liberties.
- [Kate and Castle are questioning a shop owner who has a large TV screen in his window and a videocam always running; it faces Oni's knock-off warehouse]
- Oscar: What can I say? People like to see themselves on television. I mean, you would not believe the things people do in front of a camera.
- Richard Castle: [maybe a little too fascinated] I'm listening.
- Oscar: Like this one chick, she's standing there, right in front of the store, and she starts to take off her, uh...
- Kate Beckett: [bored with the interest in exhibitionism] Just show us the recordings from the past couple of days, okay?
- Richard Castle: Her blood sugar gets low, she gets a little cranky.
- Kate Beckett: Zip it... kitten.
- Richard Castle: Look, can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of capturing a very dangerous Nigerian drug lord. It's kind of a thing.
- Kate Beckett: Castle! Castle!
- Richard Castle: I'm on TV.
- Kate Beckett: Are you having a breakdown?
- Richard Castle: Not a breakdown, a breakthrough. And I really am ruggedly handsome, aren't I?
- Kate Beckett: I'm waiting for the breakthrough.
- Kate Beckett: You okay, Castle?
- Richard Castle: My first gun battle.
- Kate Beckett: Your last gun battle.
- Richard Castle: Mmm. Don't be so pessimistic. I think I handled myself pretty well.
- Kate Beckett: Yeah. Probably saved my life.
- Richard Castle: Probably? I *definitely* saved you life. And you know what that means, don't you? It means you owe me.
- Kate Beckett: Owe you what?
- Richard Castle: Whatever I want. And you know exactly what I want, don't you? You know what I really... really... want you to do.
- [whispers in Kate's ear]
- Richard Castle: Never, ever, call me kitten.
- Kate Beckett: And you call your ex-wife "a deep-fried Twinkie."
- Richard Castle: Oh, trust me. As annoying and intrusive as you think I am, she's a million times worse.
- Richard Castle: [in a shootout with Baylor] I've written this scene about a hundred times. We give him what he wants, you know how it ends? Badly. And by "badly", I mean us dead.
- Kate Beckett: Just stay down.
- Richard Castle: You stay down.
- Kate Beckett: I can't shoot him from down here.
- Richard Castle: Yeah, he can't shoot you, either.
- Richard Castle: I had sex with my ex-wife this morning. My first ex-wife, Meredith, Alexis' mom. And, she's thinking about moving back to New York. Do you know what that would mean, to me? That would be a very special brand of hell. The hell of a deep-fried Twinkie.
- Kevin Ryan: A deep-fried Twinkie?
- Richard Castle: Yeah. The guilty pleasure that you know is bad for you, so you only do it once, maybe twice a year for the novelty. But a deep-fried Twinkie every day is...
- Kate Beckett: Castle!
- [about Castle's first ex-wife]
- Martha Rogers: Why did you marry her, anyway?
- Richard Castle: [in mock wonder] I don't know, Mother. Maybe she reminded me of you.
- Kate Beckett: Castle!
- Richard Castle: What?
- Kate Beckett: Crime scene... Dead body... A little respect here.
- Richard Castle: I don't think he can hear me.
- Kate Beckett: This ritual, I assume that it was done for a specific purpose?
- Javier Esposito: That's only if you're assuming that the guy doing this was rational.
- Richard Castle: No, no. She's right. It might not make sense to you or me, but, uh, if you find out why he did this, we might find your killer.
- [Esposito and Ryan look at each other, nodding and grinning about the new guy telling them their jobs]
- Javier Esposito: Yes. Kinda how we do it.
- Richard Castle: This once, when Alexis was nine, Meredith dropped by to take her out to lunch.
- Kate Beckett: So?
- Richard Castle: In Paris.
- Michelle: You know, from the design, I'd say this isn't Haitian, Jamaican or Dominican. This is hard-core Nigerian.
- Kate Beckett: What about this charm?
- Michelle: The charm's an offering to a Vodun saint, or loa. In this case, it's Ogun. He's usually called upon to help find something that's been lost.
- Richard Castle: So our killer's looking for something.
- Michelle: Something the victim once possessed.
- Kate Beckett: Maybe that's why he was tortured.
- [while on the phone with Meredith, Castle saw the murder suspect drive by in his car]
- Kate Beckett: What do you mean you didn't get the plate?
- Richard Castle: Uh... there was a... it was coming...
- Javier Esposito: What kind of car was it?
- Richard Castle: Uh, it was big. It was an SUV, I think.
- Kevin Ryan: You think? What about the color?
- Richard Castle: Uh, black. Dark blue. Uh... it's very hard being a witness. I don't know how you guys ever get a conviction.
- Kate Beckett: [showing Beckett his new Kevlar vest] And look...
- Kate Beckett: Writer?
- Richard Castle: Uh-huh. Cool, huh?
- Kate Beckett: No. Not cool. You don't need a vest.
- Richard Castle: If you shoot me, do I not bleed?
- Kate Beckett: You're not gonna get shot, and you know why? Because you are going nowhere near the gunfire. You're staying here.
- Richard Castle: Yes, we've seen how well that works.
- [first lines]
- [after Castle and Meredith finish having wild sex]
- Richard Castle: [panting] That was...
- Meredith: [also panting] Oh, yeah... Top 10, at least.
- Richard Castle: Maybe top 20.
- Meredith: Not top 10?
- Richard Castle: Well... There was Paris... Kauai... Yankee Stadium...
- Meredith: Oh, that place in the Poconos.
- Richard Castle: Yes... Mykonos... Coney Island... And then there was Staten Island.
- Meredith: Oh, and the hot air balloon.
- Richard Castle: The Westminster Dog Show... that was...
- Meredith: That's only nine.
- Richard Castle: The night we made Alexis.
- [last lines]
- Alexis Castle: Okay, Dad, spill.
- Richard Castle: What?
- Alexis Castle: What did you do?
- Richard Castle: Nothing.
- [Alexis and Martha look at him skeptically]
- Richard Castle: Oh, my business manager called with an excellent investment opportunity... a small, artsy independent feature.
- Martha Rogers: Oh, that's my boy!
- Richard Castle: [chuckles] She's perfect for the role. I'm doing them a favor, I think.
- [to Alexis]
- Richard Castle: I hope you don't mind
- Alexis Castle: Raising one parent's hard enough. I don't know what I'd do if I had to raise two.
- Martha Rogers: There wasn't a little part for me in the artsy...
- Richard Castle: No. No.
- Martha Rogers: No. All right.
- Martha Rodgers: And does she *honestly* think she's just gonna show up with a reel of what? "According to Jim" *guest* spots, and push some *real* actor aside?
- Kevin Ryan: Why would a guy mark his own stall with the death symbol?
- Richard Castle: He wouldn't. This symbol was meant for him. Charles Oni's been marked for death.