Completely Unrehearsed Last Minute Pandemic Holiday Special (2020 TV Special)
Jeff Dunham: Self, Walter, Bubba J, Peanut, José Jalapeño on a Stick, Achmed the Dead Terrorist
Quotes
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Peanut : Before I forget, you changed all our Wi-Fi passwords.
Jeff Dunham : I did.
Peanut : Why?
Jeff Dunham : Uh... security maintenance.
Peanut : D... did you just make that up?
Jeff Dunham : I think so.
Peanut : Okay. So, you changed all three to new passwords.
Jeff Dunham : Yes, I did.
Peanut : Okay. The backstage Wi-Fi, the tour bus Wi-Fi, and the Wi-Fi at home.
Jeff Dunham : That's correct.
Peanut : Okay. Uh...
Jeff Dunham : And this time...
Peanut : What?
Jeff Dunham : ...I made the passwords unusual, so we would remember them, but they couldn't be guessed easily.
Peanut : Great. Yeah, the "1234" was kind of stupid.
Jeff Dunham : I didn't do that.
Peanut : I know. Bubba J did, but he still forgot it.
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Peanut : I'm asking for one simple password for our Wi-Fi backstage.
Jeff Dunham : And you should have it.
Peanut : What is it?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you!
Peanut : I HATE YOU!
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Peanut : Can I have the one for the bus?
Jeff Dunham : Yes.
Peanut : What's that one?
Jeff Dunham : I don't remember.
Peanut : Why not?
Jeff Dunham : Why not what?
Peanut : Why can't you remember?
Jeff Dunham : No, I don't remember.
Peanut : Okay, why don't you remember?
Jeff Dunham : I do.
Peanut : Okay.
Jeff Dunham : Okay.
Peanut : So, what is it?
Jeff Dunham : I don't remember.
Peanut : Holy crap. Did you write it down?
Jeff Dunham : Why should I?
Peanut : In case you forgot it.
Jeff Dunham : I won't forget it.
Peanut : Clearly, you just did.
Jeff Dunham : No, I didn't.
Peanut : Then what's the password?
Jeff Dunham : I don't remember.
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Jeff Dunham : Would you like to see the passwords in black and white?
Peanut : Yes, I would.
Jeff Dunham : They're on my computer.
Peanut : Can I go look?
Jeff Dunham : Of course.
Peanut : Thanks! Oh. Wait.
Jeff Dunham : What?
Peanut : What's the password for your computer?
Jeff Dunham : Who's asking.
Peanut : I am.
Jeff Dunham : You're what?
Peanut : I'm asking for the password on your computer.
Jeff Dunham : Who's asking.
Peanut : Hello? I'm right here. Computer password?
Jeff Dunham : Who's asking.
Peanut : Peanut. Is. Asking.
Jeff Dunham : Well...
Peanut : Never mind. Maybe I should ask your mother.
Jeff Dunham : What'd you say?
Peanut : Ask your mother.
Jeff Dunham : Well, that's the one for my cell phone.
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Peanut : We have three Wi-Fi networks.
Jeff Dunham : Yes.
Peanut : And you made up all the passwords.
Jeff Dunham : I did.
Peanut : And you know them all.
Jeff Dunham : By heart.
Peanut : And I should have them, too.
Jeff Dunham : Of course you should.
Peanut : What is the password for the Wi-Fi backstage?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you.
Peanut : What's the one for the bus?
Jeff Dunham : I don't remember.
Peanut : You have the one for the house?
Jeff Dunham : Yes.
Peanut : And what is that one?
Jeff Dunham : You have to guess it.
Peanut : I can't guess it!
Jeff Dunham : Well, of course not.
Peanut : So, what is it?
Jeff Dunham : You have to guess it.
Peanut : I can't!
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Jeff Dunham : You're making no sense.
Peanut : I'm making no sense? You're making no sense.
Jeff Dunham : I don't know what to say to you.
Peanut : What's the Wi-Fi password for the house?
Jeff Dunham : You have to guess it.
Peanut : SCREW YOU!
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Peanut : I asked you for the password for backstage.
Jeff Dunham : Yes.
Peanut : You said, "I can't tell you."
Jeff Dunham : Yes.
Peanut : Then I asked for the tour bus one, you said, "I don't remember."
Jeff Dunham : Also correct.
Peanut : And now the one for the house, you say, "You have to guess it."
Jeff Dunham : You got them all perfectly.
Peanut : What the hell are you talking about?
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Peanut : So, what's the password for the Wi-Fi backstage?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you.
Peanut : What?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you.
Peanut : Why not?
Jeff Dunham : Why not what?
Peanut : Why can't you tell me?
Jeff Dunham : Tell you what?
Peanut : The password.
Jeff Dunham : I just did.
Peanut : No, you didn't.
Jeff Dunham : Yes, I did.
Peanut : What is it?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you.
Peanut : Why not?
Jeff Dunham : Why not what?
Peanut : Why can't you tell me?
Jeff Dunham : I just did.
Peanut : Are you insane?
Jeff Dunham : No.
Peanut : Then what's the password?
Jeff Dunham : I can't tell you.
Peanut : Jerk!