- Superintendent Chalmers: I'm a bit of a crossword head myself. They help me relax after a day of having to deal with... Skinner!
- Principal Seymour Skinner: You called?
- Superintendent Chalmers: Made reference.
- Principal Seymour Skinner: My mistake.
- Homer Simpson: Marge, I'm going to a hard-core gay club, and I won't be back until three in the morning!
- Marge Simpson: Have fun!
- Homer Simpson: Sweety, will you please look at daddy!
- Lisa Simpson: You stopped being my daddy when you bet against me! All I have now is a mom. That's why I'm taking her maiden name. So from now on, my name is Lisa Bouvier!
- [Homer gasps]
- Nelson Muntz: Hey, Mr. S. Lisa B.
- Homer Simpson: Nooo!
- Girl: Would you like to buy some band candy?
- Homer Simpson: Yeees!
- Bart Simpson: Ice cold lemonade! Sweet sunshine in your mouth! Buy a glass or I'll punch my sister!
- Lisa Simpson: It's true! He's not bluffing!
- Homer Simpson: Marge, if I had a hundred dollars for each couple I broke up, I'd have this much, 'cause that's what I charge.
- Lisa Simpson: Guess what, mom? I'm a cruciverbalist!
- Marge Simpson: Oh, Lisa, another religion? You know, you'll just drop the whole thing at college when you get a Jewish boyfriend.
- Homer Simpson: We dispose of your relationships humanely thanks to our patented TenderDump system. We'll be there in thirty minutes, our your next break-up is freeee!