Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Johnny Knoxville: Leonardo
Photos
Quotes
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[April meets the Turtles for the first time]
April O'Neil : What are you?
Leonardo : Well, miss, we're ninjas.
Raphael : We're mutants!
Donatello : Technically, we're turtles.
Michelangelo : And we're teenagers. But we can have adult conversations.
April O'Neil : So, you're... Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?
Donatello : When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous!
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[the Turtles sneak back home]
Leonardo : [whispers] Fall in, QUIETLY.
[Michaelangelo slips]
Leonardo : Shhh! If Master Splinter catches us, he'll send us back to the Hashi.
Raphael : I ain't going back to the Hashi!
Leonardo : [shoves Raph] Every time we're in the Hashi, it's because of YOU!
Raphael : [shoves Leo] Well, bro, you don't have to worry about me dragging you down anymore!
Michelangelo : What's that supposed to mean?
Raphael : I'm going out on my own, first chance I get.
Michelangelo : How're we gonna finish our hip hop Christmas album, bro? You're the hype man!
[everyone starts shushing each other]
Raphael : [to Mikey] You spit in my eye!
Leonardo : Nobody's going out, we all stick together!
Michelangelo : [to Raph] Sorry I spat in your eye, bro.
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Leonardo : I think this is it, guys!
[the Turtles and April start to plummet to the ground]
Leonardo : Does anyone have anything they wanna say? Donnie?
Donatello : I'm the one who eats the icing off the pop tarts in the morning and puts them back in the box!
Michelangelo : I so did not understand the ending of Lost!
Leonardo : Raph?
Raphael : I just... uh, uh... If this our last moment together, I just want you guys to know I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so hard on you! Ugh. Everytime I pushed you I... I threatened you, I yelled at you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you! I believe in you spirit and your intelligence and your potential! And every time I talked about walking away it was because I was scared! I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guys so much!
Donatello : Raph... we made it. You crying?
Raphael : No, ding dong. It's just a little dusty out here.
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[as the Turtles leave]
Leonardo : [to April] Do NOT say a word about this to anyone. If you do, we will find you. April O'Neil.
Michelangelo : Yeeeaaah, we'll fiiiind yoooou! O'Neil!... I'm sorry, that came across super-creepy. We will find you, though!
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[the Turtles crowd around a wounded Splinter; Splinter whispers to Michelangelo]
Leonardo : What did he say?
Michelangelo : He said "Please take your knee off my chest."
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[Splinter brings out a pizza since his children won't speak]
Splinter : Of course, you've all tasted the five-cheese pizza. But this... cheesemongers have speculated its existence for centuries. Da Vinci's original masterpiece. I submit to you... Novantanove Formaggio, The 99-cheese pizza!
Michelangelo : It's not possible...
Donatello : Mikey, it's a trap! A pizza with that variety of cheese is a culinary impossibility!
Splinter : [holds out a piece to Michelangelo] Shall I list the ingredients? Cheddar... Provolone...
Leonardo : Mikey, don't you do it!
Splinter : Asiago...
Donatello : Keep it together!
Splinter : Taleggio...
Michelangelo : I don't even know what that is...
Splinter : Mozzarella, of course...
Michelangelo : [cracks] Okay, okay, okay... We left the lair because the Foot were taking hostages, and we totally kicked butt, and there was this girl named April O'Neil who took our picture... but we took care of it!
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Raphael : Looking for this?
[holds up April's phone]
April O'Neil : No no no, don't break that! Please!
Leonardo : [takes the phone out of Raph's hand] How many times do I have to tell you? We don't break things, we fix them. Donnie already wiped the pic, genius! Problem solved! Moving on!
Raphael : Who made you boss?
Leonardo : You know who did.
[both get in each others' faces]
Michelangelo : Oooh, tension. It's been like thirty whole minutes since you had this conversation.
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[from trailer]
Leonardo : We were created as weapons, and we knew the world would never accept us... but one day, it would need us.
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Leonardo : All these years you told us we were rescued from the fire by a great guardian spirit, a hogosha.
Splinter : That's right.
[points at April]
Splinter : This is the hogosha.
[all the Turtles bow to April]
Michelangelo : [whispers] Dude, my girlfriend is the hogosha...
[Leo hits him]
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Donatello : Surveillance are showing heavy, HEAVY Foot Clan activity.
Raphael : They've taken hostages, dude...
Leonardo : You know we're not supposed to go above ground!
Raphael : We've done this before. We started something, and we gotta finish it.
Michelangelo : [looking at a monitor] This is insane... that cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks!
Leonardo : Don't be an idiot!
[changes the monitor's channel, to Mikey's chagrin]
Leonardo : Okay... let's rock and roll, boys!
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Leonardo : [on a subway] All aboard!
[attacks the Foot]
