Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Noel Fisher: Michelangelo
Photos
Quotes
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[April meets the Turtles for the first time]
April O'Neil : What are you?
Leonardo : Well, miss, we're ninjas.
Raphael : We're mutants!
Donatello : Technically, we're turtles.
Michelangelo : And we're teenagers. But we can have adult conversations.
April O'Neil : So, you're... Ninja Mutant Turtle Teenagers?
Donatello : When you put it like that, it sounds ridiculous!
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[the Turtles are in an elevator]
Michelangelo : [taps a rhythm on his nunchuks] MC Mikey!
[his brothers follow suit with their weapons]
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[the Turtles sneak back home]
Leonardo : [whispers] Fall in, QUIETLY.
[Michaelangelo slips]
Leonardo : Shhh! If Master Splinter catches us, he'll send us back to the Hashi.
Raphael : I ain't going back to the Hashi!
Leonardo : [shoves Raph] Every time we're in the Hashi, it's because of YOU!
Raphael : [shoves Leo] Well, bro, you don't have to worry about me dragging you down anymore!
Michelangelo : What's that supposed to mean?
Raphael : I'm going out on my own, first chance I get.
Michelangelo : How're we gonna finish our hip hop Christmas album, bro? You're the hype man!
[everyone starts shushing each other]
Raphael : [to Mikey] You spit in my eye!
Leonardo : Nobody's going out, we all stick together!
Michelangelo : [to Raph] Sorry I spat in your eye, bro.
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Raphael : [to April in a menacing voice] Give me the camera.
Michelangelo : Oh look, he's doing his Batman voice...
[later on]
Raphael : I only saw Batman once!
-
Leonardo : I think this is it, guys!
[the Turtles and April start to plummet to the ground]
Leonardo : Does anyone have anything they wanna say? Donnie?
Donatello : I'm the one who eats the icing off the pop tarts in the morning and puts them back in the box!
Michelangelo : I so did not understand the ending of Lost!
Leonardo : Raph?
Raphael : I just... uh, uh... If this our last moment together, I just want you guys to know I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was so hard on you! Ugh. Everytime I pushed you I... I threatened you, I yelled at you, I pushed you beyond your limits, it's because I believe in you! I believe in each one of you! I believe in you spirit and your intelligence and your potential! And every time I talked about walking away it was because I was scared! I just didn't think I was good enough to stand next to you and call you brothers, and say to you, I love you! I love you guys so much!
Donatello : Raph... we made it. You crying?
Raphael : No, ding dong. It's just a little dusty out here.
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Donatello : [wakes up April] Ma'am, can you hear me? Do you know what city you're in? Do you know where you are?
Michelangelo : Have you seen that video where the cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks?
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[from trailer]
[April comes face to face with Michelangelo]
Michelangelo : Whoa, whoa, whoa! Chill! It's just a mask, see? Don't freak out.
[takes off his mask]
Michelangelo : Right?
[April faints]
-
[Splinter catches the Turtles sneaking in]
Splinter : Where have you been?
[knocks down Leonardo]
Raphael : We were working out!
[gets knocked down]
Donatello : I forgot to soak my retainer!
[gets knocked down]
Michelangelo : I'm totally sleepwalking! Mikey's sleeping, and walking, he's totally innocent!
[gets knocked down]
-
[as the Turtles leave]
Leonardo : [to April] Do NOT say a word about this to anyone. If you do, we will find you. April O'Neil.
Michelangelo : Yeeeaaah, we'll fiiiind yoooou! O'Neil!... I'm sorry, that came across super-creepy. We will find you, though!
-
Michelangelo : [takes April] Come with me, I gotta safe place for you to hide. And if you're thirsty I got a secret stash of orange crush behind the fridge. Don't tell Raph.
-
[the Turtles crowd around a wounded Splinter; Splinter whispers to Michelangelo]
Leonardo : What did he say?
Michelangelo : He said "Please take your knee off my chest."
-
[Splinter brings out a pizza since his children won't speak]
Splinter : Of course, you've all tasted the five-cheese pizza. But this... cheesemongers have speculated its existence for centuries. Da Vinci's original masterpiece. I submit to you... Novantanove Formaggio, The 99-cheese pizza!
Michelangelo : It's not possible...
Donatello : Mikey, it's a trap! A pizza with that variety of cheese is a culinary impossibility!
Splinter : [holds out a piece to Michelangelo] Shall I list the ingredients? Cheddar... Provolone...
Leonardo : Mikey, don't you do it!
Splinter : Asiago...
Donatello : Keep it together!
Splinter : Taleggio...
Michelangelo : I don't even know what that is...
Splinter : Mozzarella, of course...
Michelangelo : [cracks] Okay, okay, okay... We left the lair because the Foot were taking hostages, and we totally kicked butt, and there was this girl named April O'Neil who took our picture... but we took care of it!
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[after beating the Foot, the Turtles celebrate on a rooftop]
Raphael : That's what I'm talking about! This is OUR city! These are OUR streets!
Michelangelo : You mess with us, you steppin' to the Wu-TANG!
Raphael : Did you see that guy's jaw connect with the concrete?
Donatello : He'll be drinking out of a sippy cup for months!
Raphael : That's what I'm talking about! Like shadows in the night, completely unseen...
[April takes a picture]
Michelangelo : What was that?
Donatello : It's a camera flash...
-
Raphael : Hey, Mikey, remember that thing you used to say when we were kids?
Michelangelo : You made me promise never to say it again...
Raphael : Forget about that! Still got one in the tank?
Michelangelo : I've been holding it in for years...
[the Turtles charge at the Shredder]
Michelangelo : COWABUNGA!
-
Michelangelo : Guys, did you see? I totally talked to a girl!
-
Michelangelo : [smashes through a Foot SUV and grabs the wheel] Hey, I'm drivin'!
-
Michelangelo : Leo's in trouble!
Raphael : My shell's cracked... just duct tape it up...
Donatello : Allow me to be the badass for once!
[goes to save Leonardo]
-
[the Turtles take April and Vernon through the sewers]
Michelangelo : Please keep your hands and feet inside the shell at all times!
-
Raphael : Looking for this?
[holds up April's phone]
April O'Neil : No no no, don't break that! Please!
Leonardo : [takes the phone out of Raph's hand] How many times do I have to tell you? We don't break things, we fix them. Donnie already wiped the pic, genius! Problem solved! Moving on!
Raphael : Who made you boss?
Leonardo : You know who did.
[both get in each others' faces]
Michelangelo : Oooh, tension. It's been like thirty whole minutes since you had this conversation.
-
[all the Turtles are in the Hashi]
Michelangelo : [doing a handstand on a swivel chair] Guys, I'm in the zone! There's literally nothing that can break me right now!
[Splinter tosses a pizza at Michelangelo]
Michelangelo : Starting to crack...
-
[all the Turtles get jammed in a tunnel]
Donatello : [smells a fart] Mikey, was that you?
Michelangelo : Eh... pepperoni.
-
[the Turtles don their bandanas]
Michelangelo : DUDE!
-
[the Turtles show off their assault van]
Michelangelo : Check the bases, bro!
[activates missiles that blow up a car]
Michelangelo : My bad... still figuring out the buttons...
-
Leonardo : All these years you told us we were rescued from the fire by a great guardian spirit, a hogosha.
Splinter : That's right.
[points at April]
Splinter : This is the hogosha.
[all the Turtles bow to April]
Michelangelo : [whispers] Dude, my girlfriend is the hogosha...
[Leo hits him]
-
[the Turtles bring April to their lair]
Michelangelo : Welcome to my crib, girl!
April O'Neil : Where are we?
Michelangelo : This is our Fortress of Solitude, our Hogwarts, our Xavier's Academy, our secret Wonderland!
April O'Neil : [sniffs] Are we in the sewer?
Michelangelo : No...
Donatello : Technically, yes.
-
Michelangelo : [fights the Foot] Wassup, bro? Oh, you want some of this? I'm a snapping turtle fool! Snap, snap, snap!
-
Donatello : Surveillance are showing heavy, HEAVY Foot Clan activity.
Raphael : They've taken hostages, dude...
Leonardo : You know we're not supposed to go above ground!
Raphael : We've done this before. We started something, and we gotta finish it.
Michelangelo : [looking at a monitor] This is insane... that cat is playing Chopsticks with chopsticks!
Leonardo : Don't be an idiot!
[changes the monitor's channel, to Mikey's chagrin]
Leonardo : Okay... let's rock and roll, boys!
-
Michelangelo : [spars with Donnie] Wassup, bro? You want some of this? I'm like a ghost! I'm over here, then I'm over here bro! I'm a shadow! I'm a flying shadow fire dragon!
[Donatello knocks him down]
-
Michelangelo : So guys, if it wasn't already obvious with that girl... dibs!
-
[Michelangelo stares at April]
Michelangelo : [whispers] Oh, she's hot, I can feel my shell tightening...
Raphael : We can hear you!
-
[April stares at the Turtles]
Raphael : See, she's looking at us like we're freaks! I bet that's why you took our picture, wasn't it, to show to your friends?
Michelangelo : Bro, that's a good thing. Maybe she has hot friends!
-
April O'Neil : Swing me toward him!
[the Turtles swing April at Shredder and she knocks him off]
Michelangelo : That's my girl!
-
Michelangelo : [to April] Wassup, Angel Cakes?
-
Michelangelo : Like a shadow, bro!
