The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)
Battletoads (2008)
James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd
Quotes
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why are you always behind my couch anyway?
Kyle Justin : There are no other couches to go behind.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Rash, Pimple and Zitz. Why such disgusting names? How about Herpes, Genital Warts and Gonorrhea?
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : When you pause the game, you get this catchy beat.
[beat plays. AVGN and Kyle dance to it]
The Angry Video Game Nerd : What's the point of that? When you pause the game, it should just be quiet.
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Kyle Justin : The hell with this shit.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : The hell with this *fucking* shit.
Kyle Justin : The hell with this banana buffalo wearing... bastard bullshit!
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah, now you're talking! Well anyway, Battletoads...
Kyle Justin : I'm going behind the couch.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah, go bunker yourself from all these, like, shitty games.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : People were wondering, like, what is this? Some cheap Ninja Turtles knock-off? But it was actually pretty good...
[notices Kyle had sat down next to him]
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Who the fuck are you?
Kyle Justin : I'm your guitar guy.
[AVGN stares at him]
Kyle Justin : I play your theme song... from behind the couch.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Well go back behind the damn couch! Geez.
Kyle Justin : You know that's not really the welcome I expected.
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Kyle Justin : Why can't I review the game with you?
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Why can't you... because that's not how it works. I play the games and you... get your ass back behind the FUCKING COUCH!
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Game over? That's game over for you, not for me.
Kyle Justin : Uh, I don't know.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : What? You've gotta be kidding me. You died, but we both have to start back at the beginning.
Kyle Justin : Sorry.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : [Kyle's player kills his] Oh you fucker!
Kyle Justin : I didn't mean to do it.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh that's really a problem. You shouldn't be able to hit each other. That's fucking BULLSHIT!
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Alright, fine, you can sit here just this one time.
Kyle Justin : Thank you.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : You happy?
Kyle Justin : I'm very happy.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Very good. Okay, Battletoads on the NES... put that down.
[Kyle picks up the second controller]
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Put it down, drop it! You can't fucking play the game with me.
Kyle Justin : Why not?
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Because it's not even a two player game.
Kyle Justin : Yeah it is.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : No it's not, look, you see two players? Push start, that's it. Alright, so anyway, the game begins...
[sees two players]
The Angry Video Game Nerd : How'd you do that?
Kyle Justin : I pushed start.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : Ohhhh, so it's arcade style.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : So, "Battletoads" is *not* a two-player game. Having a second player is as convenient as having a Siamese bulldog attached to your anus! It's just, like, with one player it's hard, but with two, it's virtually unplayable!
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Kyle Justin : [singing] He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard.
The Angry Video Game Nerd : You bet your ass!
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : That's not fair. You kill me then you take my 1up?
Kyle Justin : Hey I let you try to get it. It's not my fault you fucked up.
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Kyle Justin : What the fuck?
The Angry Video Game Nerd : I SWEAR I didn't mean to do that. I was just trying to get the guy.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Hey, you killed me.
Kyle Justin : Sorry.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Level 3, we're real lucky we made it this far.
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The Angry Video Game Nerd : Don't get hit. Dumbass.