- Dr. Gregory House: You know how you hate it when I meddle in your lies... uh, I mean your life?
- Dr. James Wilson: Why are you being so evasive unless you have something to evade?
- Dr. Allison Cameron: [hands House some pills] Here. This going to hurt even more. Take two now, two later.
- Dr. Gregory House: [House swallows all the pills] Oops.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Don't toy with him. If you're going to fire him...
- Dr. Gregory House: Fact that he stole your idea means that he cares enough to lie. That's all I needed to know.
- Lee: You're my relaxing scenario?
- Dr. Gregory House: I guess you like me.
- Lee: Either that or you got sent here.
- [last lines]
- Dr. James Wilson: Oh House, please. I assume you went because you're tired of screwing up every chance you get at happiness.
- Dr. Gregory House: [Holding up his cellphone] Delete contact.
- Dr. James Wilson: Do not let the fact that I found out about it...
- Dr. Gregory House: Don't beat yourself up. I'm not going back because it doesn't work.
- [House sees Wilson blur like the locked-in patient saw his environment]
- Dr. James Wilson: You'll end up alone.
- Dr. Gregory House: Hey, genius. I think it violates certain ethical laws to rip the organs out of a guy who's still alive. Possibly certain law laws too.
- Lee: I never thought I'd be praying for a brain tumor, but please, dear God.
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Lee] If you're praying in there, stop it right now.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: [to Taub] Then why don't you just quit?
- Dr. Chris Taub: I'm not sure I want to do that, either.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Oh. Maybe you should figure it out before House figures it out for you.
- Lee: You know, maybe you should have your midlife crisis after I'm better.
- Dr. Gregory House: If you can't bring Mohammed to Princeton, bring Princeton to Mohammed. My diagnostics posse: Hot, Dark and Darker.
- Dr. Chris Taub: This is gonna mean months of sleepless nights wondering if I could've done something differently. Maybe it's not that I'm sick of House... it's that I'm sick of being scared out of my mind to go to work every day.
- Lee: [about House] This guy's a doctor?
- Dr. Gregory House: There's also Navy Seal House, but you're going to have to save up for that one.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: [about Lee] We'll get his doctor to order an MRI.
- Dr. Gregory House: His doctor's busy teaching him how to blink out "kill me" in Morse code.
- Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Shouldn't we be entertaining our patient?
- Dr. Chris Taub: I performed Euripides with sock puppets. You just missed it.
- Molly: [about Lee] Why aren't his eyes moving?
- Dr. Gregory House: Two options: My neurologist screwed up or else something the hospital lawyer's going to have to come up with when you sue us.
- Lee: [to House] How come I'm not better? God's not supposed to work in trial and error.
- Dr. Gregory House: God's mistakes are well-documented. If he'd done everything right the first time, there'd have been one plague and zero great floods.
- Dr. Gregory House: Those were because of human mistakes.
- Lee: You think your doctor has an apartment on Mount Olympus?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Bought my first girlfriend a necklace. It was silver. It cost 180 bucks. Had to save for six months. She hated it.
- Lee: Really, seriously? Did you tell this story to someone who could walk away?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Never bought another girlfriend jewelry again. Until Dr. Hadley.
- Lee: You're dating her? You might want to start all your stories with that.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: Same thing. She didn't even wear it.
- Lee: The diamond thing? She was wearing it the other day.
- Dr. Eric Foreman: If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. Apparently, I suck at picking out jewelry, but at least have the guts to tell me.
- Lee: Okay, getting boring again. How long till we know if this treatment is working?