House M.D. (TV Series)

Locked In (2009)

Hugh Laurie: Dr. Gregory House

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Quotes 

• Dr. Gregory House : You know how you hate it when I meddle in your lies... uh, I mean your life?

  Dr. James Wilson : Why are you being so evasive unless you have something to evade?

• Dr. Allison Cameron : [hands House some pills]  Here. This going to hurt even more. Take two now, two later.

  Dr. Gregory House : [House swallows all the pills]  Oops.

• Dr. Gregory House : She's the smart one. I just keep Dark and Darker to fill out the quota.

• Dr. Gregory House : Why did I fire you again?

  Dr. Allison Cameron : You didn't. I quit.

• Dr. Lawrence Kutner : Don't toy with him. If you're going to fire him...

  Dr. Gregory House : Fact that he stole your idea means that he cares enough to lie. That's all I needed to know.

• Lee : You're my relaxing scenario?

  Dr. Gregory House : I guess you like me.

  Lee : Either that or you got sent here.

• [last lines] 

  Dr. James Wilson : Oh House, please. I assume you went because you're tired of screwing up every chance you get at happiness.

  Dr. Gregory House : [Holding up his cellphone]  Delete contact.

  Dr. James Wilson : Do not let the fact that I found out about it...

  Dr. Gregory House : Don't beat yourself up. I'm not going back because it doesn't work.

  [House sees Wilson blur like the locked-in patient saw his environment] 

  Dr. James Wilson : You'll end up alone.

• Dr. Gregory House : Hey, genius. I think it violates certain ethical laws to rip the organs out of a guy who's still alive. Possibly certain law laws too.

• Lee : I never thought I'd be praying for a brain tumor, but please, dear God.

  Dr. Gregory House : [to Lee]  If you're praying in there, stop it right now.

• Dr. Gregory House : If you can't bring Mohammed to Princeton, bring Princeton to Mohammed. My diagnostics posse: Hot, Dark and Darker.

• Lee : [about House]  This guy's a doctor?

  Dr. Gregory House : There's also Navy Seal House, but you're going to have to save up for that one.

• Dr. Lawrence Kutner : [about Lee]  We'll get his doctor to order an MRI.

  Dr. Gregory House : His doctor's busy teaching him how to blink out "kill me" in Morse code.

• Molly : [about Lee]  Why aren't his eyes moving?

  Dr. Gregory House : Two options: My neurologist screwed up or else something the hospital lawyer's going to have to come up with when you sue us.

• Lee : [to House]  How come I'm not better? God's not supposed to work in trial and error.

  Dr. Gregory House : God's mistakes are well-documented. If he'd done everything right the first time, there'd have been one plague and zero great floods.

  Dr. Gregory House : Those were because of human mistakes.

  Lee : You think your doctor has an apartment on Mount Olympus?