Operation: Endgame (2010)

Rob Corddry: Chariot

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chariot : Do you want to do the introductions?

  High Priestess : No, my fucking feet hurt.

• Chariot : I say we watch her and we watch alpha team; I got a bad feeling about this.

  Emperor : You sure that's not just the DTs talking?

  Chariot : Well I'm still drunk, so, it can't be the DTs.

  Emperor : There you go, you corrected me.

• Chariot : [to Fool]  I tried to read your file but it bored the shit out of me. Sort of like "Thomas Crown" without the pussy.

• Chariot : Let's put it this way: If it weren't for Omega...

  Fool : Which is who?

  High Priestess : Us.

  Chariot : ...the Middle East would be a cloud of dust right now.

  Fool : Uh, isn't the Middle East already kind of a cloud of dust?

  High Priestess : He meant literally.

• Fool : What does Alpha do?

  Chariot : You know, the usual. Some president, UN official, American politician wants to talk shit about the military industrial complex, wants to stop spending $600 billion on a war with no fucking end, well, whether it be 1963 or now, they intervene.

• Chariot : I'm gonna fucking rape your soul!

• Fool : All right, so what happens if that door malfunctions? How do we get out?

  Chariot : You don't.

• Chariot : [to Empress]  Oh, wow! Look at you. You vixen. What are you, entering a slut contest?

• Devil : [Temperence stands speechless after seeing Fool]  Do you find sometimes a pregnant pause just, just says it all?

  Chariot : Yes, sir, the tension's palpable.

  Empress : I'm hot.

• Fool : [Chariot is showing Fool his new office]  Am I smaller than everyone else is? And there's a column in the middle.

  Chariot : Yeah, well, it's 'cause it's your first day. And you're a fucking loser.

• Magician : Hey, just out of curiosity, what happened to you? I mean, when I first got here, you were the shit, I mean, I wanted to be you. Now, you know, you're like - I don't know. You're like... borderline homeless. You're a fucking... deadbeat.

  Chariot : Yeah, well, look on the bright side. My poetry's really coming along.

• Chariot : Little baby dick grew some balls?

  Magician : Just orders, man. Just following orders.

  Chariot : Well, your subservience will be the death of you.

• Chariot : [Upon seeing Hierophant dead body]  You are still hot.

• Chariot : Hey, you know what, you guys have been great, but I'm gonna go drink myself to death.

  Empress : Shut the fuck up.

  Chariot : Chug my cock.

• Fool : You do this every morning?

  Chariot : [laughs]  No, no, I drink as much as I do, because every day is Christmas.