The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Barbarian Sublimation (2008)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon Cooper : Would you prefer to wait in our apartment?
Penny : No, Sheldon, I'd rather sit on this freezing cold floor sobbing like a three-year-old.
Sheldon Cooper : All right then.
Penny : For God's sake!
[Goes inside]
Sheldon Cooper : Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm.
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Sheldon Cooper : [Leonard comes walking out of his bedroom and hears this conversation coming from inside Sheldon's bedroom] Please, Penny, enough. I have to sleep.
Penny : Ok, well, you were great. Thanks.
[Penny comes walking out of Sheldon's room quietly before spotting Leonard standing there]
Penny : Oh. Hey, Leonard, don't go in Sheldon's room, he's not wearing bottoms.
[she walks away]
Leonard Hofstadter : [knocks on Sheldon's door] Sheldon, you want to catch me up again?
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Penny : Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What?
Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, um, here's the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.
Penny : Yeah, get to the point, I'm about to level up here.
Leonard Hofstadter : Well, i-i-i-it's just if a person doesn't have a sense of achievement in their real life it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.
Penny : Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope's back online.
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny, you've got cheetos in your hair.
Penny : Oh, thanks.
[Eats it]
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Sheldon Cooper : Sheldor back on line.
Penny : What's AFK?
Sheldon Cooper : AFK. Away from keyboard.
Penny : Oh, I see.
Sheldon Cooper : What does that stand for?
Penny : Oh, I see.
Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but what does it stand for?
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[last lines]
Howard Wolowitz : [speaking through an avatar] Hello, fair Penny.
Penny : Who are you?
Howard Wolowitz : It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz. Can I interest you in an afternoon of spirited questing, followed by a flagon of ale at yon virtual tavern?
Penny : Yeah, sure, why not?
Penny : [looking up from her laptop with a horrified expression] Oh my God, I need help.
[shuts laptop and pushes it away]
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : Fellow warriors, this is Sheldor the Conqueror. We are about to enter Atzel's Fortress; now, this is a long run so let's do another bladder check. All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again, but you really should see a doctor.
[hears banging outside]
Sheldon Cooper : Sheldor is AFK.
[goes into hall]
Sheldon Cooper : Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty?
Penny : Yes, I can't get my stupid door open.
Sheldon Cooper : You appear to have put your car key in the door lock; are you aware of that?
Penny : Yeah.
Sheldon Cooper : All right, then.
Penny : Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!
Sheldon Cooper : Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?
Penny : I can't get the damn key out.
Sheldon Cooper : It's not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge-mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagen uses a center cylinder system.
Penny : Thank you, Sheldon!
Sheldon Cooper : You're welcome. Point of inquiry: why did you put your car key in the door lock?
Penny : Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?
Sheldon Cooper : Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure...
Penny : I know what it means, Sheldon! God! You know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't got a single acting job. I have accomplished nothing, haven't gotten a raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.
Sheldon Cooper : Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they're almost pure protein.
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Penny : No, Fritz, I need you on my flank. I don't know German. Flanken Sie! Flanken Sie!
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Leonard Hofstadter : You know there are groceries outside of your apartment?
Penny : Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shh.
Leonard Hofstadter : I only bring it up because your ice cream's melting and it's starting to attract wildlife.
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Penny : [Penny walks into Sheldon's room as he's sleeping] Sheldon?
[walks towards his bed]
Penny : Sheldon?
Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon abruptly sits up after a dream] Danger, danger!
Penny : No danger, look it's just me, Penny. Listen, I got to level 25 and reached Purple lotus swamp, right?
Sheldon Cooper : You're in my bedroom.
Penny : Yes, Leonard gave me an emergency key.
Sheldon Cooper : People can't be in my bedroom.
Penny : Ok, well, can we go talk in the living room?
Sheldon Cooper : I'm not wearing pajama bottoms.
Penny : Why not?
Sheldon Cooper : I spilled grape juice.
Penny : Well, wear different pajamas.
Sheldon Cooper : Can't wear different pajamas; these are my Monday pajamas.
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Penny : Oh, my God! A treasure chest. I'm rich!
Sheldon Cooper : Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob.
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Leonard Hofstadter : Shouldn't you be at work?
Penny : I don't work on Mondays.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's Thursday.
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Sheldon Cooper : On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always initiated by him and 5 being always initiated by you. How do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin?
Penny : That's on the registration?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh yes, it's quite extensive. But if we complete it, you get a free expansion pack, 75 additional quests.
Penny : Ooh, awesome. Okay, I totally like to initiate. I'm a big old 5.
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Sheldon Cooper : Perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you.
Penny : I did. He said he'll get here when he gets here.
Sheldon Cooper : And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology?
Penny : No. I'm frustrated because I'm a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly.
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Sheldon Cooper : Just tell me, is it too soon to join a quest to the black castle?
Sheldon Cooper : You were invited on a quest to the black castle?
Penny : Yeah yeah, by some guys in Budapest. I'm just not sure it's the right move for my character.
Sheldon Cooper : Of course it's not. You're only at level 25. These Hungarians are just using you for dragon fodder.