Greg Lee: Self - Host

Quotes 

• The Chief : [speaking in a male voice]  Greg, in my office on the double.

  Greg Lee : Okay, Chief. I'll be right there. You guys stay here. I wanna check with her. Gotta fix that sound.

  [he goes into the Chief's office] 

  Greg Lee : Chief, what's up?

  The Chief : Greg, what's the latest on Carmen Sandiego?

  Greg Lee : Whoa, Chief.

  [imitates the Chief's male voice] 

  Greg Lee : "What's the latest on Carmen Sandiego?".

  [normal voice] 

  Greg Lee : You sound kinda weird today. What's with your voice?

  The Chief : Well, Greg, that's because I'm not myself.

  Greg Lee : Okay, if you're not yourself... then who are ya?

  The Chief : I'm Conrad Knuckle, joint director for E.M.C.A., another anti-crime agency.

  Greg Lee : EMCA? Hey, wait a minute, that's ACME spelled backwards.

  The Chief : Yes. I've taken over the Chief's mind for a while.

  Greg Lee : Well, when are you gonna stop being Conrad Knuckle, and start being my beloved Chief again?

  The Chief : All right! As soon as I make this offer to your gumshoes. My organization, EMCA, will send whoever catches Carmen on a free trip to the sausage packing room of Mueller's meat company in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin.

  Greg Lee : Gee, Conrad, that's a nice offer, but it's not really the ACME way. I'm not sayin' it's a bad deal or anything. I'm just...

  The Chief : What do you suggest?

  Greg Lee : Well, how about offering a trip to anywhere in North America to the gumshoe who captures Carmen Sandiego?

  The Chief : Hmm, yeah. That might be better incentive than the meat thing. Okay, anywhere in North America, it is.

  Greg Lee : Great.

  The Chief : Now, to get me to leave the Chief's body, you must hit my shoulder repeatedly with a squeaking toy hammer.

  Greg Lee : Well, what a coincidence.

  [pulls one out of his jacket] 

  Greg Lee : Just happen to have one right here.

  [starts hitting her on the shoulder] 

  The Chief : [normal, upset]  Greg! What on Earth are you doing?

  Greg Lee : Chief, you're back. Hi. Well, see, your body was filled with Conrad Knuckle. He's the head of EMCA, which is still good guys, but it's ACME spelled backwards, and he said I, uh, had to hit you with this.

  [hands the Chief the squeaking toy hammer] 

  Greg Lee : I'm gonna go. Glad you're back.

  [he exits the office while the Chief stares at the hammer in bemusement] 

  Greg Lee : [female voice]  Okay, back to work.

  [he reacts at how he sounds and takes out a second squeaky toy hammer and hits himself with it] 

  Greg Lee : [normal again]  Okay, back to work.