The Angry Video Game Nerd (TV Series)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2007)

James Rolfe: The Angry Video Game Nerd

Quotes 

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : [Referring to the design of Leatherface and his chainsaw]  Couldn't they have at least made the chainsaw a different part of his body? It looks like his arms are tangled together or he has a big jagged dick coming out of his chest. What the hell, man?

• Narrator : In 1983, a shitty game based on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was released for the Atari 2600 by Wizard Video Games. It was a tragic failure and tried to aim for the adult market. Its pixelated violence was enough to get it banned from store shelves, or hidden behind the counter, limiting its sales to obscurity/ For them, an ideal hit movie based game would become a nightmare. But had the game been well known, nobody would have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre doo-doo diarrhea bullshit as they were to see in that sucky ass game/ Close to 25 years later, it would be discovered by one of the most frustrated gaming geeks on the internet, the Angry Video Game Nerd.

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : [looking at a table with video games for sale]  What have you got here?

  Hillbilly : Bunch of shit.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : I see. But unfortinatly this is kinda my thing.

• Hillbilly : I have no idea what that is. I can tell ya what it looks like. It looks like the shit stain that's at the bottom of my drawers right now!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : This is a shit stain on a shitty game! That perfectly sums it all up!

• Chop Top : [enters room]  I-i-it's N, more like AVGN. I'm your most far out fan, man!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah, yeah cool.

  Chop Top : Woah so is this like where you do all your videos?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah.

  Chop Top : Woah would you like be able to give me a tour or something?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Yeah okay, well here's the games, you see, here's the games and you know all the systems are right here and that's it. So that's it, the tour's over you, you can go.

  Chop Top : Woah that's far out! Oh yeah, your next game review is gonna be E.T right?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Uh no, actually no.

  Chop Top : No? Well what are you gonna do next, huh?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : I don't know.

  Chop Top : Are you actually gonna do any Nintendo 64 games?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Eventually.

  Chop Top : Hey man remember in your Chronologically Confused video you totally mentioned that part about John Rambo. Well you know they're actually making a new Rambo movie and it's called Jon Rambo!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [over Chop Top]  I know. I was aware of that.

  Chop Top : You were totally on the ball! Right on the money! Right on my ball! Hey man, I got a friend named Lester and he really wants to be, like in one of your videos, man!

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : Oh okay.

  Chop Top : Like when you do the E.T review, could you just totally put his name in the review, like in the middle, like when you're talking about E.T could you like...

  [starts laughing crazily] 

  Chop Top : Hey what kind of editing software do you use? Because you know, I'd like to become an Angry Nerd reviewer just like you but like I was thinking like what would be easier like if I like just got a knife and I cut you open and like got inside of you and actually became you!

  [the Nerd knocks out Chop Top] 

  Chop Top : .

• The Angry Video Game Nerd : Let's pop this shit fucker in.

• Chop Top : Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : What the fuck, man?

• Chop Top : How'd you like to play some Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

  The Angry Video Game Nerd : [muffled]  NOOOO!