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1/10
The birds lite... Very very light...
sixblade-22 February 2009
Warning: Spoilers
I don't usually care to write bad comments. Being generally positive about things I tend to bother to write when I am satisfied. The trouble here is that I feel like every 30 seconds during this movie someone is saying to me "you are an idiot". The one reason I watched it 'til the end is for being legitimate in writing this comment, because it's not worth the electricity consumption by my TV. Forget the technical mediocrity (the only comparison to Hitchcock's "Birds" is the equivalent quality of special effects... 45 years later!). An amazing pile of "clichés" almost on every scene: -the nice long haired doctor whose lover left her but she finds love again in the end, -her numb child who communicates with the birds and not the humans and starts speaking again in the end, -the bad cruel gangsters whose presence in the film is totally useless apart from killing one nice chap in part one, you can cut out all the scenes with them as they have a parallel pointless story with no interest at all, might as well have shown the milkman's sex life) - the old lady who's not afraid of the birds, has had a hard life, doesn't want to attend the rest of the village gathering up in the church but eventually agrees to, get's pecked at on the way and saved by the numb kid - the mayor who doesn't want the story about the crows to be spread before elections or something like that - the scene where a guy walks in to save two girls with a fabric on fire at the end of a pole (actually as he walks out a big piece of the burning petrol covered fabric falls off inside the house, but this probably wasn't in the scenario since it seems to miraculously have lit itself out despite the wood all round and burning petrol...) - the two mariners who get killed by the birds out at sea - the scene where everyone gathers in the church, and hearing the millions of crows outside start singing the "song of those about to die", apparently some mariner's song... Etc etc etc... On top of all this the rhythm is SO slow I thought I was watching in slow motion. But worst of all, the actual plot, scenario and outcome are beyond the threshold of anyone with an EQ over 15. From the first two minutes, when the birds haven't yet been mentioned at all, this tense music suddenly builds up as the camera shifts towards the first lonely crow nicely enjoying his time sitting on a ramp. One or two of the "frightening scenes" where the characters start to panic (ie Astrid Veillon the doctor) because being attacked or threatened by fierce looking crows actually count around 5 or 6 birds... About the soundtrack, the stressful music is used SO often you get absolutely sick of it. And the crows cawing sounds like people actually going "roaarrrr roaaarrrrr"...! You can almost understand that they mean "we're going to GET YA", "let's kill all the humans" or "ooooooh look at this nice little numb girl, let's just understand and listen to her thoughts, she's one of us". And the outcome blows it all: bravely awaiting for death in the church, all the inhabitants fall asleep after singing. When they wake up, the numb kid who had been taken out to talk to the crows comes back, the storm (we only hear about a storm... The sound only plays crows screaming, not rain nor wind...) is over and the crows have all flown away... Final scene, on the town square, reporters come up, a fire brigade ambulance brings back a lady who had been wounded (can't remember if it was for birds or if she had jumped off a boat that the gangsters had kidnapped her on to, which probably gave her a cold as she had to swim for 40 yards) from hospital (very likely: firemen act as taxis when they get bored), etc etc... Finally (at last, as I am boring myself writing about this), the lesson: one of the characters says to the reporters that "if we don't care enough for the environment we live in, catastrophes like this one could happen again..."(as the camera swings to landscape sceneries and close up on a crow... ta daaaaaaa....) Yeah, the cause for all this appears to be global warming. So PLEASE, stop polluting, so we NEVER EVER have to go through a movie like this one again. Tell you what, the film isn't worth the time I've spend writing this either... I did it because there are so many talented people out there, and what is served to us is such crap, that it feels like an insult...
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