In the Loop (2009)

Paul Higgins: Jamie MacDonald

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jamie MacDonald : See that fax?

  Michael Rodgers : Yes.

  Jamie MacDonald : That is your career. And I think it might be fucked, but let's just check. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty fucked. Now, I hope you can play the spoons, because you're too old to go back to being a gentleman's fluffer.

• Jamie MacDonald : You think that's his real name? Iceman? To Mr. and Mrs. Man, a son... Ice?

• Jamie MacDonald : Well, if it isn't Humpty Numpty.

  Simon Foster : What is this? Surround bollocking?

  Jamie MacDonald : Hey, with due respect, I hadn't finished. If it isn't Humpty Numpty sitting on top of a collapsing wall like some clueless egg cunt. Now, I'm finished.

  Simon Foster : Hi, Jamie, this is Toby.

  Toby Wright : Oh, um... Toby Rice, I'm Simon's aide.

  Jamie MacDonald : Hi, Toby, Toby. Very pleased to meet you. Please sit down. Now, right, that's enough of all the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries.

  Toby Wright : What's Oxbridge about saying hello?

  Jamie MacDonald : Shut it, Love Actually! Do you want me to hole punch your face?

  Malcolm Tucker : Right, I'm off to deal with the fate of the planet. Be gentle with them.

  Jamie MacDonald : Oh, you know me, Malc. Kid gloves... but made from real kids. Right, Butch and Gaydance, this wall story is playing badly. There's a cartoon of you in here as a walrus.

  Simon Foster : A walrus? I'm not fat, I don't even have a moustache. Fuck, they've given me tusks.

  Jamie MacDonald : Wal-rus. You get it? Wal-rus, wal-rus.

  Toby Wright : We called some builders. They didn't turn up when they said they would.

  Jamie MacDonald : What did you expect? They're builders! Have you ever seen a film where the hero is a builder? No, no, because they never fucking turn up in the nick of time. Bat-builder? Spider-builder? Huh? That's why you never see a superhero with a hod!

• Jamie MacDonald : Turn that fucking racket off! It's just VOWELS! Subsidised... foreign... fucking... vowels!

• Jamie MacDonald : [calling Tucker]  OK. Your phone is off, but there's been a catastrofuck here. Someone's leaked Liza Weld's PWIP PIP paper to the BBC. I reckon it's going to be on the six o'clock news, one o'clock your time. That is going to fucking fist your UN vote to death. Right. Missing you loads. PWIP PIP toodle-oo.

• Jamie MacDonald : Ah, right, Frank and Nancy Sinatra. I've got good news for you. You're NOT fired. That's great news, isn't it?

  Michael Rodgers : Well, it sounds ominous.

  Jamie MacDonald : We want to get Liza Weld's PWIP PIP out there properly, in the public domain. We just need to refine it a bit.

  Michael Rodgers : What do you want to refine?

  Jamie MacDonald : Just mess it up. Move the paragraphs. Change the name of the main informant.

  Michael Rodgers : Well, that's a complete fabrication.

  Jamie MacDonald : Changing his name doesn't matter. Do you think he's really called Ice Man? Huh? "To Mr and Mrs Man, a son... Ice." So, change it to another name. What's the name of the fuck with the fiddle?

  Michael Rodgers : This happens to be Debussy.

  Suzy : Debussy.

  Jamie MacDonald : Well, we'll change it to Debussy, then.

  Michael Rodgers : No, we will not!

  Jamie MacDonald : Now, your prints are gonna be all over this, Michael, but that's the only way you can save your job, you leaky fuck.

  Michael Rodgers : Don't make me do this.

  Suzy : It wasn't him.

  Michael Rodgers : Somebody must have come in there and used the fax machine. It could have been anyone.

  Jamie MacDonald : Fax machine? Ah, no! Don't worry about that. No, I made that up. No, the document was leaked by e-mail. It's just, the fax machine was there, and it's easier to kick. Come on, Thick White Duke! Come with me.

• Jamie MacDonald : All right, that's enough with the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries.

  Toby Wright : Wh... What's Oxbridge about saying hello?

  Jamie MacDonald : SHUT IT, Love Actually! You want me to hole-punch your face?

• Malcolm Tucker : Right, OK. Is it up, have you got it up?

  Jamie MacDonald : Yeah, it's all fine.

  Malcolm Tucker : Ok, cut the top paragraph and paste it into page five.

  Jamie MacDonald : Right, yeah, we've done it.

  Malcolm Tucker : Page six, get rid of the footnotes.

  Jamie MacDonald : Done.

  Malcolm Tucker : Go to, uh, page nine.

  Jamie MacDonald : Go to page nine.

  Malcolm Tucker : Highlight from that page right thru the end of the document.

  Jamie MacDonald : Go on... do it.

  Michael Rodgers : The caveats.

  Malcolm Tucker : Right, OK, delete.

  Jamie MacDonald : Right, Ok, we're doin' it. Delete it.

  Michael Rodgers : You, you can't delete the arguments against the war.

  Jamie MacDonald : Oh, there's a little shake of the head here, Malc. I think he's crashed.

  Malcolm Tucker : Just give him a thump. That usually works.

  Jamie MacDonald : Let me just try a wee bit of manual override. Let's see if it is possible to delete the arguments against the war. Hey, you could delete it after all. It's done.

  Malcolm Tucker : Great, right, now attach that to an e-mail.

  Jamie MacDonald : Yes, got it, got it.