- Tristan Farnon: Connie and Brenda! Lovely girls, wonderful beside manner.
- James Herriot: In your dreams.
- Tristan Farnon: You don't know the half of it.
- Helen Alderson: [about the birthday gift she just handed to James] Oh, don't get too excited. It's Highland shortbread. Thought it'd remind you of home.
- James Herriot: [as a grimace slowly comes to his face] You didn't bake them, did you?
- [Helen punches James hard in the arm]
- Mrs Hall: If you channeled half the enthusiasm you have for women into your work, you'd sail through those exams.