"The Simpsons" Dial 'N' for Nerder (TV Episode 2008) - Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson, Hot Dog Vendor, Sideshow Mel, Cameraman, Groundskeeper Willie

Marge Simpson : Zack, you're not trying to save our marriage, you're trying to split us up. I'd rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy.

Homer Simpson : Oh, Marge. If there was a reality show named "Fat Guys Who Really Love Their Wives", not only would it be an enormous ratings success, but I'd be the first one on it.
[after weighing Homer]

Betsy : You've *gained* seven pounds.

Homer Simpson : Well, they say muscle weighs more than fat.

Betsy : Homer, your body is all fat.
Homer Simpson : Oh, boy, dinnertime. The perfect break between work and drunk.
Marge Simpson : It's your new diet.

Homer Simpson : But what happened with all the other diets I'm not done with yet?
Betsy : It's all about little substitutions. If you want to eat something, eat a bell pepper. Crave something sweet? Eat a bell pepper. Want a beer? Bell pepper.

Homer Simpson : It tastes good like pepper, but crunchy like a bell.

Betsy : Bell pepper!
Marge Simpson : Homer, are you cheating on your diet?

Homer Simpson : Cheating? I'm not even gonna dignify that with eye contact.

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Hot Dog Vendor, Sideshow Mel, Cameraman, Groundskeeper Willie