- Adrian Monk: [notices the square tomato] Is that a square tomato?
- Sarah Longson: Yes it is. It's a pet project of Dean's. The square shape means that farmer can pack 35% more tomatoes per carton. It's cheaper, more efficient.
- Adrian Monk: So, so, that means every slice is exactly the same size?
- Natalie Teeger: How does it taste?
- Adrian Monk: Who cares? It's a square tomato. You're doing the Lord's work.
- Adrian Monk: So what exactly do you do?
- Sarah Longson: We're saving the world.
- Adrian Monk: Good for you. I was getting a little worried about the world.
- Adrian Monk: [arriving at John Kuramoto's house while tracking the bike. He knocks on the door] Hello, Johnny! Open up. It's... It's Encyclopedia Brown! Sally and I want our blue bike back.
- [sheepishly]
- Adrian Monk: And the name of your decorator.
- Dean Berry: Mr. Monk, you know what I'm going to do for you? I'm going to adopt ten acres of Brazilian rain forest in your name.
- Adrian Monk: Thank you. I don't have to visit it, do I? Or, or water it, or think about it?
- Dean Berry: No.
- [Stottlemeyer and Disher are trying to track down John Kuramoto in the aftermath of Monk getting shot, and are interrogating his cousin Vince]
- Lt. Randall Disher: You don't know where he is? Well, you're staying at his house, Vince.
- Vince Kuramoto: Hey, man. I'm just crashing there for a few days. He's my cousin.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Where do you think he is, Vince?
- [Vince speaks loud and clearly into the microphone]
- Vince Kuramoto: I don't know.
- [hits the microphone with his hand. Stottlemeyer puts it back upright]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Tough guy, ehh?
- [shows the bullet, in an evidence bag]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Look at this. See that? That's a bullet. That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
- Lt. Randall Disher: That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
- Vince Kuramoto: Former what?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Former cop shooter.
- Vince Kuramoto: You mean he used to shoot cops?
- Lt. Randall Disher: No. He shot someone who used to be a cop.
- Vince Kuramoto: Why didn't you say that?
- Lt. Randall Disher: I did, it's the same thing.
- Vince Kuramoto: It's not the same thing at all, it's not even close.
- [Stottlemeyer is getting very fed up by now]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Oh for God's sakes! What are you two, married or what? Look, it's not complicated, Vince! If you know where your cousin is and you aren't telling us, that makes you an accessory after the fact.
- Lt. Randall Disher: For aiding and abetting.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: For attempted murder, which is a very very *VERY* long *goodbye*! Let me put this way, your parole officer: he hasn't been born yet.
- Dean Berry: [examines his genetically altered seeds] Germination complete. That is our best time yet, and that, boys and girls, is how you feed four billion people.
- [looks up and turns to Sarah, Monk and Natalie]
- Dean Berry: We're in business. Call our investors, tell them to bring their checkbooks.
- Sarah Longson: I'll set it up for Friday. Dean, this is Adrian Monk and I believe you remember Natalie Teeger?
- Dean Berry: Ah, yes! The woman who stole my bike.
- Natalie Teeger: I didn't steal it!
- Dean Berry: That's right. I believe "aided and abetted" is the correct term.
- [He crosses the room to his wall safe to lock up his genetically altered seeds]
- Dean Berry: I'm sorry, I have to lock these up. Would you mind turning around?
- [Monk and Natalie do so]
- Dean Berry: It's just that if somebody else sees this combination I'll have to memorize a new one and I don't want to waste the gray cells.
- Dean Berry: Oh man, oh man. What is happening to us? The Family of Man, we're hurting each other, we're stealing from each other.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: The Family of Man is starting to sound like a real family.