Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk Buys a House (2008)

Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger

Quotes 

• [Monk, Natalie, Stottlemeyer and Disher arrive at Cassie Drake's house to check out Monk's suspicions on Joseph Mood, as Monk complains about the messiness of "Honest" Jake's repairs] 

  Adrian Monk : You should've warned me.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I did.

  Adrian Monk : Well, why didn't you tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun if you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Next time I will. I promise.

  [They come up to the door. Stottlemeyer knocks on the door. With no response, he knocks a Morse code message, presumably in Morse code. He and Disher exchange laughs. Randy in turn taps another message back to Stottlemeyer] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey did you ever hear about the...?

  [taps another message back to Randy. They burst out laughing] 

  Natalie Teeger : That's not the way I heard it. My husband was in the Navy. Remember?

  [Stottlemeyer knocks on the door with a different code] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Miss Drake!

  [He pulls on the door, which is unlocked. Cautiously and fearing something bad, he pulls open the door. They see the stabbed body of Cassie Drake on the floor] 

  Natalie Teeger : Oh my God!

  [Stottlemeyer and Disher head inside while Monk and Natalie stay back] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : Stay there.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Phone it in!

  [Cuts to a police officer stretching crime scene tape across the patio as the medical examiner's van comes to a stop by the police cars. Inside the house, CSI techs take photos of the body as Monk and Natalie stand by] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Still no murder weapon. Doc says knitting needle. So what do you think? He was tossing the place when she walked in on him?

  Adrian Monk : I-I don't think so. Look at the drawers. They were pulled out and flipped over, but everything's just piled up. He didn't really rifle through them. He was here for her.

  [Disher comes out of another room carrying a bag] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : Captain. I, uh, found this in her closet.

  [holds the bag up] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : $4,000 grand, all $20s and $50s.

  Natalie Teeger : Gee, I should've gone to nursing school.

  [Monk examines the bills closely] 

  Adrian Monk : 1967, 1966.

  [pause] 

  Adrian Monk : These are 40 years old. Some of the serial numbers are sequential.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I'll call Treasury. Maybe they can trace it. Wanna come with?

  Adrian Monk : Nah, I should probably go home, assuming it's still there.

• [Monk shows Jake and Ramone a piece of wallpaper that was lodged in Joseph Moody's wheelchair] 

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : So you just put that together? Just like that? Fantastic.

  Adrian Monk : And this.

  [pulls a prescription out of the back of the wheelchair] 

  Adrian Monk : Tributeral. This is the medication she said made him disoriented.

  [He hands it to Natalie] 

  Natalie Teeger : It's never been opened. You think she killed him?

  Adrian Monk : She lied about it. There's gotta be a reason.

  [Jake and Ramone both nod in agreement. Cuts to the darkened interior of an intact house. Cassie Drake brings groceries into her house and sets them down on the counter, and then turns on the lights, revealing Jake, who is sitting in an armchair] 

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : Hey, Cassie.

  [Cassie recoils a bit, but then realizes that it's just Jake. She puts her hand on her chest, relieved that she didn't walk in on a burglar] 

  Cassie Drake : Jake. You scared me to death.

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : Yeah, I heard you're working the night shift. That sucks; throws off the whole internal clock. Gets it all out of whack.

  Cassie Drake : How did you get in?

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : Sliding door. It's broken.

  Cassie Drake : No it's not.

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : No, it is.

  [Cassie still appears to be a little nervous] 

  Cassie Drake : So, how's it going over there? When do I see my share?

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : See, buttercup, that's why I'm here: We ran into a little... bump in the road today. Guess who bought the house?

  [pause. Cassie does not produce a response] 

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : Adrian Monk.

  [short pause] 

  Cassie Drake : I don't know him.

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : He's on to you, Cassie.

  Cassie Drake : It wasn't my fault, Jake. I didn't wanna kill him.

  [Jake rises from his chair and grabs an awl from his toolbelt. He advances on Cassie] 

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : I know.

  Cassie Drake : He would've told everyone. I really didn't have a choice.

  'Honest' Jake Phillips : I know.

  [Jake stabs her and slices the awl through her chest] 

  Cassie Drake : AHHHH! AGGGGHHH! OW!

  [Cassie drops to the floor, dead] 

• [Monk has moved into Joseph Moody's house and is showing Natalie around. Natalie moves her hand along the stair wall] 

  Natalie Teeger : Oh, I love all the woodwork.

  Adrian Monk : Hey, don't touch that.

  Natalie Teeger : What, wet paint?

  Adrian Monk : No, just don't touch it.

• Natalie Teeger : [Jake is using his incredibly *noisy* jackhammer]  So tell me why you moved again? Oh yeah, that's right, the last place was noisy.