Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece (2008)
Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk
Photos
Quotes
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Lt. Randall Disher : [gets caught up in a spider's web, and mistakes it for a booby trap] BOOBY TRAP!
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy! RANDY! It's not a booby trap! It's a spider's web.
Bennie Wentworth : [walks over] What's going on? Did you break this bike?
[points to a broken bike lying on the ground]
Lt. Randall Disher : Sorry.
Bennie Wentworth : You break it, you bought it. That's the rule.
Natalie Teeger : It's a junkyard. How do you know if something's broken?
Bennie Wentworth : I know. I can tell. Look.
[He picks up the bicycle, and points to a twisted up wheel]
Bennie Wentworth : This wheel is all bent! 40 bucks!
Lt. Randall Disher : 40 bucks. No way.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [to Bennie] Mr. Wentworth, this is Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger. They're helping us out. I was wondering, could you go over the whole thing again, please?
Bennie Wentworth : Go over what? The guy was on my property, he tried to rip me off. He got what was coming to him, end of story.
[back to Randy]
Bennie Wentworth : I tell you what. Give me $20 bucks, we'll forget about the whole thing.
[regarding the broken bike]
Lt. Randall Disher : I'm not paying for it!
Adrian Monk : What was he doing here? Mr. Wentworth, what do you think he was after?
Bennie Wentworth : I don't know. Maybe he needed a carburetor. People need carburetors.
Adrian Monk : [referring to the dead man] He was wearing a $2,000 suit. And those are Italian shoes. I think he could afford a carburetor.
Bennie Wentworth : Maybe he stole the suit. That's possible, isn't it? Maybe he stole the shoes! Maybe he's on a spree.
Adrian Monk : The suit, the shoes, the carburetor. What kind of spree is that?
Bennie Wentworth : I don't know. An eclectic spree.
Natalie Teeger : Do you have any enemies?
Bennie Wentworth : None that I can think of, except for this guy the bicycle thief!
[points at Randy]
Bennie Wentworth : 20 bucks.
[Bennie makes another attempt at bargaining with Randy about the broken bike's price]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy, give him five bucks.
Lt. Randall Disher : Fine.
[He takes five bucks out of his own wallet and pays Bennie]
Adrian Monk : I wonder what happened to his partner.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What partner?
Adrian Monk : Well it's a dirt road out there. Very little dust on his shoes. Somebody must have dropped him off. Maybe they took off when they heard the gunshot.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [to Randy] Secure the road. Tell the crime scene techs to check for tire tracks.
[Randy starts to walk away, and Stottlemeyer stops him]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy! Your bike.
[Randy reluctantly walks back and picks up the broken bike. He carries it away with him]
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[Monk paints in Natalie's living room. He has literally cleared out her whole house. Natalie comes through the front door, and notices her stuff missing]
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, where is my stuff?
Adrian Monk : Outside.
Natalie Teeger : Well, what if it rains?
Adrian Monk : Then your things will get wet. Art requires a little sacrifice.
Natalie Teeger : [notices that her curtains are missing as well] What? And my curtains?
Adrian Monk : I need the light! Eastern light! C'est finis!
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Adrian Monk : What was I thinking? I'm no artist.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : You're no artist? Adrian Monk, you're a grand master! You're Leonardo Da Vinci, you're Pablo Picasso.
Adrian Monk : Just not with a paintbrush.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [chuckles] Just not with a paintbrush, that's for damn sure.
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[last lines]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey, how 'bout stamp collecting? That's a nice hobby. You get a little book, you put all the stamps in there, you line them all up.
Adrian Monk : I could arrange them by color, I suppose.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Yes, you could. You could arrange them any way you'd like. It's a hobby, after all.
Adrian Monk : Are they all the same size?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : If that's important to you, yes...
