Lorenzo Music: Garfield

Quotes 

• Garfield : [singing]  Oh, 99 kettles of soup on the heat, 99 kettles of soup. If one of those kettles I happen to eat, 98 kettles of soup on the heat!

• Jon Arbuckle : A police siren? I wonder what he wants.

  Garfield : Probably wants to give you a ticket for not feeding your cat enough.

• Jon Arbuckle : It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

  Garfield : Whenever anyone says that, it's always the money.

• Garfield : Just pay the ticket.

  Jon Arbuckle : I know, Garfield. You probably think I should just pay the ticket.

  Garfield : Ugh! Here comes the "I have to stand up for my rights" speech.

  Jon Arbuckle : I have to stand up for my rights!

  Garfield : Hey, do I know my Arbuckle?

• Garfield : [about Weevil]  If this guy's a lawman, then I'm a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

• P. Dempsey Weevil : [while posing as a judge]  I hereby fine you $100.

  Jon Arbuckle : $100?

  [Garfield and Odie start pushing Jon out of the courtroom] 

  Garfield : Let's go. Court's adjourned or, if it isn't, it should be.

• Jon Arbuckle : [while fleeing from Weevil]  I'm a fugitive from the law.

  Garfield : He's not the law. He's as phony as wax lasagna.

• [Jon's car roof is torn off after driving under a truck] 

  Jon Arbuckle : My car!

  Garfield : Well, you always wanted a convertible.

• [Jon is knocked out of his car] 

  Garfield : That's what you get for not wearing your seat belt! Odie, do you know how to drive?

  Odie : Uh-uh.

  Garfield : And I don't know how to drive. Odie, we're in big trouble!

• [the policemen have arrested Weevil and released Jon] 

  Policeman : You can go, Mr. Arbuckle. We'll run this phony officer in.

  Jon Arbuckle : You mean he wasn't a policeman? I'm not under arrest? Garfield, you saved me. How can I ever repay you?

  [Garfield shows Jon a picture in the paper] 

  Jon Arbuckle : An umbrella? You want me to buy you an umbrella?

  [Garfield nods] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Huh, okay, but I don't see why.

  [later, Jon drives his car, which is still missing its roof, in the rain] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Okay, now I see why.

  [Garfield and Odie are sitting in the back seat dry, under the umbrella] 

  Garfield : [singing]  69 kettles of soup on the heat, 69 kettles of soup. If one of those kettles I happen to eat, 68 kettles of soup on the heat!

• Garfield : Okay, dinner's over. Time for some television.

  [to the viewers] 

  Garfield : I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I don't always watch TV after dinner. Sometimes I watch TV during dinner.

• [Garfield turns on the TV, but only gets static] 

  Garfield : Uh-oh. Mission control, we have a problem.

  Jon Arbuckle : Oh, Garfield, the cable's out.

  Garfield : [continues pressing the remote]  What's wrong with this thing?

  Jon Arbuckle : Did you hear what I said? The cable's out.

  Garfield : [looks at the remote]  Maybe it needs new batteries.

  Jon Arbuckle : [grabs Garfield]  Garfield, listen to me carefully. The... cable... is... out.

  [Garfield stares for a moment] 

  Garfield : THE CABLE'S OUT? No! Say it isn't so, Arbuckle! The cable can't be out! It can't be out!

• Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, I'm sorry you can't turn the TV on, but maybe this'll do just as well.

  [Jon gives Garfield a book] 

  Garfield : [aims the book at the TV]  Um! Um! No, this doesn't turn the TV on either.

  Jon Arbuckle : Garfield, that's not a remote control. It's a book.

  Garfield : Oh, yeah. I've seen these. Any recipes in here?

• [thanks to Garfield, the cable guy refuses to fix the cable and leaves] 

  Jon Arbuckle : No cable, no TV. What are we going to watch this evening?

  [thinks for a moment] 

  Jon Arbuckle : I have an idea.

  [later, Garfield, Jon, and Odie are sitting down, watching the washing machine] 

  Jon Arbuckle : Don't complain, guys. It's all we've got.

  Garfield : Do you know what the really sad part of this is? This isn't that much less entertaining.