- Cotton Hill: [Speaking to Peggy as he lies on his deathbed] This was supposed to happen to you. You're worthless. You're not even good enough to be married to my worthless nothing of a loser son!
- Peggy Hill: Enough! Your son has always loved you, despite your constant torture. You want to die alone? Fine. You want to keep coming back and never die? That's fine too. In fact, I hope you do go on living forever as the unhappy person you are in the hell you have created here on earth. I hope you live forever. I really do.
- Cotton Hill: Do ya now?
- [Cotton dies]
- Hank Hill: I can't believe my last words to my father were "I don't love you."
- Peggy Hill: Cotton loved fighting. You probably made death fun for him.
- Cotton Hill: I saw the Grim Reaper, and I kicked him in the stones and spit in his eye, and told him it ain't my time yet.
- Luanne: Finish your vegetables!
- Bobby Hill: They're aren't any vegetables.
- Luanne: Don't talk back to your pretend mother!
- Lucky: We tried being strict, and we tried being fun, maybe we should try being both at the same time.
- Luanne: Bobby, get in here! Bobby, go wash up or you don't get any supper!
- Lucky: Surprise! Your first lighter.
- Luanne: Go to your room!
- Lucky: I'll bring you some pudding.
- Luanne: Floss!
- Lucky: Tag, you're it.
- Bobby Hill: I can't take this anymore!
- [Runs off]
- Lucky: We're gonna be the best parents ever.