Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and the Three Julies (2008)
Jason Gray-Stanford: Lieutenant Randy Disher
Quotes
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[the trio pull up to a suspect's decrepit house, in Stottlemeyer's banged-up car]
Lt. Randall Disher : What a dump.
Adrian Monk : But you can tell it used to be beautiful. How could something like this happen?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I don't know, maybe Natalie drove it someplace.
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Adrian Monk : [after Disher turns up a promising lead] What about your other idea? You said you had two.
Lt. Randall Disher : Oh, yeah... well, it's a just a theory, just brainstorming.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [looks at the DVD in Disher's hand] "The Terminator"? You think he might be a robot assassin sent from the future?
Lt. Randall Disher : Well, he was killing women with the same name. Forget it.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [imitating Schwarzenegger] Sarah Connor, come with me if you want to live.
Lt. Randall Disher : That was T-2.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, maybe we could lure him to a smelting plant on the outskirts of town.
Lt. Randall Disher : Can I have that back, please?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [still imitating] And things of this nature...
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Natalie Teeger : Randy, I need to ask a favor.
Lt. Randall Disher : The answer is yes.
Natalie Teeger : I need a gun.
Lt. Randall Disher : The answer is no.
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[on a stakeout, Stottlemeyer hears scratching over the wire]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Randy, what are you doing?
[Upstairs, Randy is dressed in drag and a gray wig in a rocking chair, and finds that his "bra" is extremely itchy]
Lt. Randall Disher : My bra's itching. How do they walk around in this stuff?
Police Technician : This is a new low.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Actually, it's not a new low. That's the sad part.
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Lt. Randall Disher : He's never gonna buy this.
Adrian Monk : Dr. Kroger thinks he will. Matthew Teeger has suffered a pure psychotic break, he's in complete denial. His mother never died, not to him.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : The important thing is, that we keep him talking.
Lt. Randall Disher : What if he has a knife?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He's right. We need a code, a phrase, in case he's in trouble.
Lt. Randall Disher : Uh, how about, "Mother of God, he has a knife!"?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No it has to be covert, sound conversational.
Adrian Monk : How about this: "I wish there were ten of them."
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Lt. Randall Disher : [enters the squad room carrying a file and a DVD] Captain, Monk, I've got two ideas.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Two ideas?
Lt. Randall Disher : Which one do you want first?
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : The one that'll make me less pissed off.
Lt. Randall Disher : [thinks a moment, holds up the file] Theory A: I remembered this old case, Matthew Teeger, 35 years old. The guy's been committed twice for acute schizophrenia and delusions.
Adrian Monk : Any arrests?
Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, assault. Three years ago he attacked his stepfather. He said he was defending his mother. Apparently he's obsessed with her. Guess what her name is?
[Stottlemeyer shows Monk the file]
Adrian Monk : *Julia* Teeger.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : A history of violence and a mother obsession.
Adrian Monk : I like it.
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I like it, too. Let's talk to this guy.