Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and the Three Julies (2008)

Tony Shalhoub: Adrian Monk

Quotes 

• Adrian Monk : The mother died three months ago, the son never reported it.

  Dr. Charles Kroger : Now, hang on, did the son kill the mother?

  Adrian Monk : The doctors say no, it was a heart aneurysm. Her son, Matthew, is an amateur taxidermist. He stuffed her body, carried her from room to room, like nothing happened.

  Dr. Charles Kroger : Yeah, I've heard of cases like that. You see, he couldn't function without her. And they call it radical cognitive bonding.

  Adrian Monk : At least I never dug Trudy up and had her stuffed and mounted, right?

  Dr. Charles Kroger : Yes, and I've always been very proud of you for that.

• [the trio pull up to a suspect's decrepit house, in Stottlemeyer's banged-up car] 

  Lt. Randall Disher : What a dump.

  Adrian Monk : But you can tell it used to be beautiful. How could something like this happen?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I don't know, maybe Natalie drove it someplace.

• Adrian Monk : [after Disher turns up a promising lead]  What about your other idea? You said you had two.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Oh, yeah... well, it's a just a theory, just brainstorming.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [looks at the DVD in Disher's hand]  "The Terminator"? You think he might be a robot assassin sent from the future?

  Lt. Randall Disher : Well, he was killing women with the same name. Forget it.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [imitating Schwarzenegger]  Sarah Connor, come with me if you want to live.

  Lt. Randall Disher : That was T-2.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Well, maybe we could lure him to a smelting plant on the outskirts of town.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Can I have that back, please?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : [still imitating]  And things of this nature...

• [Monk having an apointment with Dr. Kroger after discovering the stuffed dead body of the old Mrs. Teeger] 

  Adrian Monk : I just wanna thank you again for seeing me on such short notice. Were you sleeping?

  Dr. Charles Kroger : [sitting in his PJ]  No! No, no, happy to do it.

  Adrian Monk : Your wife wasn't too happy. I could hear her in the background.

  Dr. Charles Kroger : No, Madeleine is fine. It's part of the job and she knows that.

  Adrian Monk : Does she have tourette syndrome?

  Dr. Charles Kroger : [thinking for a while]  Yes! Yes she does.

• [Monk walks upstairs to Mrs. Teeger's bedroom, and sees her sitting in a rocking chair with her back to him] 

  Adrian Monk : Mrs. Teeger? Julia? Don't be afraid. I'm with the police, ma'am. We think young Matthew may be involved in some things. Do you know where he is, ma'am? We just want to talk to him.

  [No answer] 

  Adrian Monk : I... excuse me? Are-are you okay?

  [He looks again, and sees the chair is rocking because of a breeze from the open window] 

  Adrian Monk : Are... are you dead?

  [He picks up a hairbrush with a tissue and edges forward] 

  Adrian Monk : Please be alive... please be alive... please be alive... please don't be one of those skeleton ladies...

  [He nudges the chair with the hairbrush. Mrs. Teeger pitches forward, and a glass eyeball plops to the floor] 

  Adrian Monk : Please be dead! Please be dead!

• Police Dispatcher : [over radio]  All units, be advised, possible 187, name Julie Teeger, repeat, possible 187.

  Natalie Teeger : [panicked]  The victim's name! Repeat the victim's name!

  Police Dispatcher : Julie Teeger.

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, what's a 187?

  Adrian Monk : Uh...

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, what's a 187?

  Adrian Monk : Homicide.

  Natalie Teeger : Oh, my God!

  [she grabs Stottlemeyer's car keys] 

  Adrian Monk : Natalie, wait! Just wait for the Captain!

  [Natalie does not listen. She jumps into Stottlemeyer's car, and speeds away] 

• Natalie Teeger : [on her cell phone, trying to call Julie. She leaves a message]  It's me again. Please, I need to hear your voice. Call me when you get this.

  [Natalie hangs up and she starts walking away] 

  Police Dispatcher : [on a uniformed cop's radio]  Tentative ID on the victim is Julie Teeger.

  [Natalie stops, and listens carefully] 

  First Uniform Cop : Unit 9, could you repeat the name of the victim?

  Police Dispatcher : Julie Teeger. That's "T" for "Thomas." Teeger.

  First Uniform Cop : Unit 9, this has got to be a mix up. We're already at the Teeger scene, on Bow Street.

  Police Dispatcher : I don't know what to tell you, buddy. I'm looking at her ID right now. The picture matches. It's definitely her.

  [Natalie, who is standing just a few feet away, runs over to Stottlemeyer's car. She is getting in just as Monk, Stottlemeyer and Disher are finishing up inside and are coming out of the house] 

  Adrian Monk : [noticing Natalie in the car]  Natalie? Natalie!

  [She starts to speed off] 

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : What the hell is her problem?

• Julie Teeger : Mr. Monk, please, please, I am begging you. You were a teenager once, right?

  Adrian Monk : Very briefly.

  Julie Teeger : Well, then you know!

  [being led across the squad room, a handcuffed Matthew catches sight of Julie, and her name written on the binder in her arms] 

  Matthew Teeger : Are you Julie Teeger?

  [Julie freezes] 

  Matthew Teeger : That's my mother's name.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Hey... hey, get him the hell out of here!

  Matthew Teeger : [as he is hustled out]  You'd better be careful, Julie Teeger.

  [Julie is frozen for a moment] 

  Sergeant Harris : Are you okay?

  Julie Teeger : [shaken, but nods, then turns to Monk]  Oh my God, he is so the guy!

• Lt. Randall Disher : He's never gonna buy this.

  Adrian Monk : Dr. Kroger thinks he will. Matthew Teeger has suffered a pure psychotic break, he's in complete denial. His mother never died, not to him.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : The important thing is, that we keep him talking.

  Lt. Randall Disher : What if he has a knife?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : He's right. We need a code, a phrase, in case he's in trouble.

  Lt. Randall Disher : Uh, how about, "Mother of God, he has a knife!"?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : No it has to be covert, sound conversational.

  Adrian Monk : How about this: "I wish there were ten of them."

• [after Matthew Teeger has been caught, Julie pleads to be let out so she can take her driver's test] 

  Natalie Teeger : I'll tell you what, if Mr. Monk says it's okay, you can go.

  Adrian Monk : What? No, no, don't drag me into this. In case you forgot, I have my own problems.

  Natalie Teeger : Well, now you have one more. All right, I've got to go call my parents.

  [kisses Julie's cheek] 

  Natalie Teeger : They've been worried sick.

• Lt. Randall Disher : [enters the squad room carrying a file and a DVD]  Captain, Monk, I've got two ideas.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : Two ideas?

  Lt. Randall Disher : Which one do you want first?

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : The one that'll make me less pissed off.

  Lt. Randall Disher : [thinks a moment, holds up the file]  Theory A: I remembered this old case, Matthew Teeger, 35 years old. The guy's been committed twice for acute schizophrenia and delusions.

  Adrian Monk : Any arrests?

  Lt. Randall Disher : Yeah, assault. Three years ago he attacked his stepfather. He said he was defending his mother. Apparently he's obsessed with her. Guess what her name is?

  [Stottlemeyer shows Monk the file] 

  Adrian Monk : *Julia* Teeger.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : A history of violence and a mother obsession.

  Adrian Monk : I like it.

  Captain Leland Stottlemeyer : I like it, too. Let's talk to this guy.