- [Monk, Natalie, Disher, and Stottlemeyer have been sealed in a bank vault by a crooked employee]
- Adrian Monk: I'm gonna die, right here.
- Natalie Teeger: No, you are not!
- Adrian Monk: You're right.
- [gets up and moves to another corner]
- Adrian Monk: I'm gonna die over here. I call this spot. The rest of you can die somewhere else.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: That's it. Monk is no longer the morale officer.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [talking to a pregnant woman] You got names picked out?
- Gloria Morales: We haven't decided yet. What's your name?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Leland.
- Gloria Morales: We haven't decided yet.
- Tiny Werner: [on the subject of some jewelry that Peter Crawley sold to him] He said this belonged to his grandmother.
- Natalie Teeger: You believed him?
- Tiny Werner: I believe everyone: it's store policy.
- Natalie Teeger: [spots Randy, who has frozen still as he practices to become a Living Statue] Randy? What are you doing?
- [no response. Natalie blushes]
- Natalie Teeger: Hello? Are you all right?
- [She walks in a circle around him, but he is still frozen]
- Natalie Teeger: Oh, my gosh... tickle, tickle, tickle!
- [tickles Randy hoping that he will react]
- Natalie Teeger: All right...
- [starts to walk away, then turns back and jumps off the floor and onto Randy's shoulder. He still doesn't move!]
- Natalie Teeger: I'm taking these two pencils and I'm gonna stick them up your nose.
- [puts one in one nostril]
- Natalie Teeger: That's number one.
- [puts one in the other nostril]
- Natalie Teeger: And number two.
- [Still no response from Randy, who now looks rather like a frozen walrus with pencil tusks]
- Natalie Teeger: Our tax dollars at work.
- Lt. Randall Disher: [attempts to question the Living Statue performer about what he saw, to no success] Excuse me. Lieutenant Disher, SFPD. You've got a pretty good view of the bank from here. We're investigating a robbery that took place earlier this morning.
- [the Living Statue doesn't hear him]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Sir?
- [pause. Still no response]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Sir, this is official police business. It will just take a minute.
- [takes out his badge and flashes it]
- Lt. Randall Disher: If you're not too busy.
- [pause. Still no response]
- Lt. Randall Disher: OK, I know you can hear me. Look, I just saw you blink. You blinked.
- [Randy tries to startle the performer in hope that he will react; the performer doesn't move a muscle]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Oh. I get it.
- [waves a dollar bill in front of the performer, and then drops the bill into his collection box]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Normally, we don't pay for information! So, what time did arrive at the park this morning, sir?
- [Still no response]
- Lt. Randall Disher: OK, you know what, pal? I can get a crane here in 20 minutes, lift you up and drag you downtown.
- [the Living Statue's alarm goes off, and he steps off his pedestal, indicating that it's his break time]
- Living Statue: It's my break, man.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Well, thank you. That's more like it.
- Living Statue: [Groans] This is my job. I mean, how would you like it if I came to your office and
- [screams]
- Living Statue: in your face, huh?
- [He yells in anger again]
- Living Statue: Was I here? Yes, I was here. I've been here all day. I'm here every morning. Even Sundays.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Good. Did you see anything unusual at around 9:00?
- Living Statue: Yeah. I, I saw a guy. About 5' 10", green hoodie. He was hanging out, pacin' around. Looked kinda nervous, and then, he went inside.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Good. Did you see his face?
- Living Statue: He had his hood up. Sorry.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Okay. Hood up. And then what happened?
- Living Statue: Oh, about 10 minutes later, the alarm went off. And I saw...
- [his break alarm goes off, signalling the end of his break. He steps back up on his pedestal and freezes in place]
- Lt. Randall Disher: What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?
- [No response. Disher laughs for a second]
- Lt. Randall Disher: No, no, no, no! No, no, no. Don't. Don't do that.
- [pause]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Hey, we're not done here. What did you see?