Ted Lasso (TV Series)
The Diamond Dogs (2020)
Brendan Hunt: Coach Beard
Photos
Quotes
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Nathan Shelley : Okay, so this is about you and Keeley, right?
Coach Beard : Saw this coming.
Higgins : Nothing like the early days of courtship.
Roy : [bewildered] Okay, this is my fucking nightmare.
Ted Lasso : I think the idea of you and Keeley is like cookies and cream. And I think we all agree, two great tastes that go great together, right?
Higgins : Yeah.
Coach Beard : Perfect analogy.
Roy : Yes, I am into her. But we all know who her ex-boyfriend is: the prince prick of all pricks. And I've got him stuck right in here.
Higgins : I don't understand the problem.
Nathan Shelley : I mean, Keeley's just so kind. You know, to be liked by someone like her must be... s'wonderful.
Ted Lasso : Shout-out to the Gershwin brothers right there.
Coach Beard : Fuck yeah, the Gershwins.
Ted Lasso : But dang it, fellas, you're still not getting it!
Roy : Thank you.
Ted Lasso : Sure, Roy here has slept with a bunch of different people in his past. But Keeley's got her own romantic and sexual history that predates Roy. And that's not okay!
Nathan Shelley : [beat] Oh, he means the opposite. I love it when Coach does sarcasm.
Roy : I can't control my feelings.
Ted Lasso : Well, then, by all means you should let them control you.
Higgins : He's doing it again!
Ted Lasso : [smirks] Good eye. Look, Roy, all this Chandler Bing-ing aside, do me a favor. Don't let her past muck around with y'all's future, okay?
Roy : She slept with him last night.
[pause]
Nathan Shelley : I mean, are you two officially dating?
Roy : No.
Higgins : Have you already slept together?
Roy : No.
Ted Lasso : Coach, you wanna bring this home?
Coach Beard : Grow up... and get over it.
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Coach Beard : Something on your mind, Coach?
Ted Lasso : No. Why?
Coach Beard : We just had a five-hour bus ride where you didn't talk a lick, and that's a record by about five hours.
Ted Lasso : [looks around, then moves in closer] Okay, look, I'm gonna tell you something, but then I don't wanna talk about it ever again, okay?
Coach Beard : Okay.
Ted Lasso : I'm serious. I don't wanna make jokes about it, I don't want you to give me any knowing glances. You know what I mean?
Coach Beard : Okay.
Ted Lasso : Okay. Last night, I, uh... I slept with Rebecca's friend, Sassy.
[pause]
Coach Beard : Wanna talk about it?
Ted Lasso : I'd love to. Yeah. Immediately.