- Bam Margera: [during the Butt Bead Ass Kite skit] I just lost a shit load of fans, but I've gained four in Key West!
- Bam Margera: [after the Butt Bead Ass Kite skit] I was under the influence of alcoholic beverages and I thought it was a good idea at the time.
- Loomis Fall: [covered in pee] That don't taste like Captain Morgan!
- Steve-O: [grabbing Loomis around the shoulders] It tastes like piss!
- Construction Worker: Okay, we're gonna go outside. We're gonna go outside.
- Johnny Knoxville: We are outside!
- Steve-O: T-Nigs, that snapping turtle tore him up, huh?
- T. Nigs: Oh yeah! Guess what? If I was gonna do the snapping turtle thing... I wouldn't do it on my nose.
- Chris Pontius: Where would you do it? On your pecker?
- T. Nigs: Absolutely.
- Johnny Knoxville: Oh, I bet you fellas like this, huh?
- Construction Worker: We don't want you to get hurt.
- Johnny Knoxville: Well, somebody's gonna get hurt, it ain't gonna be me, you keep manhandling me like this!
- Dave England: [One of the Aghori tribe members tries to attack Dave] Dude, seriously, I have Aghori-phobia and I can't handle this, dude!
- Dave England: I just thought you know... It's hard to pee on command and pee in front of people, but for me like, I can just whip my pants down and take a shit pretty much any old time.