- Roy: If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!
- Narrator: You wouldn't steal a handbag. You wouldn't steal a car. You wouldn't steal a baby. You wouldn't shoot a policeman and then steal his helmet. You wouldn't go to the toilet in his helmet and then send it to the policeman's grieving widow. And then steal it again! Downloading films is stealing. If you do it, you will face the consequences.
- Jen: [just got off the phone with Douglas's PA] Right, I'm off. Douglas is on his way down.
- Roy: So?
- Jen: Well, to be honest, he's been making advances. He keeps asking me if I want to go for a ride in his helicopter.
- Roy: I wanna go for a ride in the helicopter!
- Jen: Then grow a pair of tits.
- Roy: [more to himself] If I did have tits, I wouldn't mind letting someone have a go on them for a ride in a helicopter.
- Douglas: Ah, Jen. Good. Can I have a word with you?
- Jen: No, can't. Busy. Very busy. And I don't want to go for a ride in the helicopter.
- Douglas: OK, OK. That wasn't what I was going to ask actually.
- Jen: Oh?
- Douglas: Yes, it was something... work-related.
- Jen: What department is this?
- Douglas: [confused] Sorry?
- Jen: If it's work-related, you'll know what department this is. What department is this?
- Douglas: [looks around at Moss and Roy] Some sort of... homosexual department?