Atlanta (TV Series)

The Homeliest Little Horse (2022)

Sullivan Jones: Everette Tillman

Quotes 

• Everette Tillman : Let's talk about who you trust.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : I trust people to be themselves. Based on their incentives and what they've rationalized.

• Everette Tillman : And you were hurt by someone you trusted.

• Everette Tillman : So, uh, tell me about, uh, Princeton. Did you accept their invitation to speak?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : No. No. I told them to give me an honorary degree or kiss my ass.

  Everette Tillman : Mm. And what'd they say?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : They said yes to the degree, not my ass.

  Everette Tillman : That's a hell of a negotiation.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah. Yeah, not-not really. I mean, it's-it's a pretend degree. I can't start a medical practice with it. In the end, I'm making more money than if I had stayed, so... .

  Everette Tillman : You proud of that?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah. Fuck that school.

  Everette Tillman : Sounds like you resent them.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : They're only after me now because of two reasons. One, because being Black is valuable, and two, donations.

  Everette Tillman : Mm, right. You know, you've-you've alluded to it, but what exactly happened to you at Princeton?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Me and this girl named Sasha We were new RAs in the same building, right? And we got close really fast, and I felt like I could be honest with her, right? You know, we're new friends, but good friends. Anyway, I get this job interview, and I'm really excited about it, you know. I call my parents, I get a little money from them, and I scrounge up a little money. I buy a suit, 'cause I need to look presentable. I go buy the suit, then I go to the computer lab.

  Everette Tillman : What did you get? What kind of suit?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Navy blue slacks and blazer with leather loafers.

  Everette Tillman : Okay, so you were stylin'.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : I was stylin'. It was, like, super nice. I looked good, right? So, I'm at the computer lab, and my crush comes in. And she asked me if I want to go to this party in Philly with her. She wants me to go, and I'm like, Cool. Sasha is a couple of stalls down. She hears this and offers to take my suit, stash it in her room, and I can just go straight from there. I'm like, Cool. Thank you. You know? I go to the party, I come back, I text her to get the suit. No response. I text her again. No response. I text her a third time. Same thing.

  Everette Tillman : Did something happen?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : I don't think so. It was like she was ducking me.

  Everette Tillman : So, it's hours before the interview...

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Right. And I'm freaking out. So I'm texting her again. I'm like, Hey, where's the suit? I really need the suit. And she just writes back Sorry. Not around.

  Everette Tillman : Hmm. So what did you do?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Man, I went downstairs, I knocked on her door. No one picked up. You know, so I went in there with my master key, and I got my suit, and I left. Big mistake. She was, like, furious. Like She told the dean, and it became, like, a real thing. He's coming back, saying like, Oh, this is a suspension. And then it turns into expulsion.

  Everette Tillman : So I'm guessing Sasha wasn't Black. No.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Of course not.

• Everette Tillman : Earn, I know it can be hard to disconnect, but we can't have productive sessions with your cellphone on, Earn.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : It's important. I can't pay for this if I don't do this.

  Everette Tillman : You seem frustrated.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : I am. I'm having heart troubles, and my doctor is telling me I need to get my head checked.

  Everette Tillman : That sounds serious. I hope I can help, but to do so, we can't have distractions. So, what did your doctor say?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : I have a tightness in my chest and a pain, numbness going down my left arm. They say I'm healthy. They think I'm lying.

  Everette Tillman : Do you have reason to think they don't believe you?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : If they did it to Kim Porter, they'll do it to me. I had to get a second opinion. They got me walking around like Alita: Battle Angel all weekend.

  Everette Tillman : Whoa! EKG machine.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah.

  Everette Tillman : What's their guess?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Depression, panic attacks, anxiety. You know, a smattering.

  Everette Tillman : Hmm. Well, I mean, panic and anxiety can manifest in many forms. You should listen to your body. It's smarter than you think. Yeah, but anxiety about what?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : You know, my life is good. It's not a flex, like, work is really good. I'm making more money than I've ever made. You know, the agency keeps giving me more clients. I mean, it's great.

  Everette Tillman : Good. How are things at home?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Good. Fine. Uh, I'm redecorating the condo, so... Which honestly doesn't make much sense if I'm moving out of state.

  Everette Tillman : Wow. That's a really big decision. What what changed?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Uh I got a job offer in L.A. Creative consulting. Mm. Yeah, it's, um It's a big deal, I guess. I... I haven't told Van yet.

  Everette Tillman : Are you worried about the distance between you and Lottie if you take this job and Van doesn't want to go?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah. Yeah. If I'm being honest, I think Lottie needs me more now than ever, you know?

• Earnest 'Earn' Marks : They started using rapist language for what I did.

  Everette Tillman : Rapist language?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : "Intruder," "personal assault," "attack on privacy." Like, I was scared. You know, I apologized, but it was like no one was listening. It's like no one cared.

• Earnest 'Earn' Marks : They started using rapist language for what I did.

  Everette Tillman : Rapist language?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : "Intruder," "personal assault," "attack on privacy." Like, I was scared. You know, I apologized, but it was like no one was listening. It's like no one cared.

  Everette Tillman : What do you think their perception was?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : That this big black gorilla came into this white girl's room and just destroyed shit. I don't know. Uh, you know, as an RA, they make you feel like you have some sort of agency. But then you turn around, and then, all of a sudden, you're O.J. It's, like, why give me the master key if you didn't trust me to use it?

  Everette Tillman : How'd that make you feel?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Angry. Everybody on campus is talking about me. I'm, like, one of 12 Black kids. You know, I already felt alone.

  Everette Tillman : What else did you feel? You trusted Sasha.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah.

  Everette Tillman : And you were hurt by someone you trusted.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah.

  Everette Tillman : Like the family member who abused you.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah.

  Everette Tillman : Which made you feel powerless again. It's cool. You should release this.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : No. I'm good. I'm good.

  Everette Tillman : Hey...

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : No, I'm-I'm good.

  Everette Tillman : So what happened between you two?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : We never talked again. You know, I had to leave. I just promised I'd just prove everybody wrong.

  Everette Tillman : Did you prove everyone wrong?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah. I love spite. It's a pure, powerful thing.

  Everette Tillman : Hmm.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : It gave me courage. You know, I can count on it. I used it when I came back to Atlanta, you know?

  Everette Tillman : Spite can be... Spite can be very powerful. But it can also leave you depressed and empty. Goals stop becoming yours. You start becoming a a book written by somebody else. Someone with no incentive for your well-being. So by not going back to Princeton, you may be proving something to her and not yourself.

• Everette Tillman : Spite can be... Spite can be very powerful. But it can also leave you depressed and empty. Goals stop becoming yours. You start becoming a a book written by somebody else. Someone with no incentive for your well-being. So by not going back to Princeton, you may be proving something to her and not yourself.

• Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Honestly, the whole time I was thinking about what you said on spite. Going back to Princeton That wasn't important to me. Facing my past That really was, you know? I was mad about the time that got wasted. You know, I-I wanted to spend that time with Van and Lottie. You know, I wanted to talk to Van about the move. I really wanted to connect with them.

  Everette Tillman : See, it sounds like you're recognizing the big picture.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah, the anxiousness and anger You're not gonna achieve your goals with those, you know?

  Everette Tillman : That's really good, Earn.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah, um You know, it's good to hear you say that, 'cause I've been thinking a lot, and I-I kind of want to take some time out from therapy. Just a little, you know, 'cause you've given me s-so many good tools, I-I kind of want to deal with my issues on my own, you know?

  Everette Tillman : Sure. Yeah, I mean, I'd love to keep working with you, but I-I understand. And, like, hey, if-if you need anything, you know I'm here.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Thanks.

  Everette Tillman : You know, I'm impressed, 'cause most people, they end this over a phone call or email or...

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Oh, I'm not that cold-blooded. Um, you can have this back, man.

  Everette Tillman : Oh, no, no, no, no. Keep it.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Are you sure ?

  Everette Tillman : I'm positive. It's too small for me.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Don't be shitting on my height, man.

  Everette Tillman : Take care, Earn.

• Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Honestly, the whole time I was thinking about what you said on spite. Going back to Princeton That wasn't important to me. Facing my past That really was, you know? I was mad about the time that got wasted. You know, I-I wanted to spend that time with Van and Lottie. You know, I wanted to talk to Van about the move. I really wanted to connect with them.

  Everette Tillman : See, it sounds like you're recognizing the big picture.

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : Yeah, the anxiousness and anger You're not gonna achieve your goals with those, you know?

  Everette Tillman : That's really good, Earn.

• Everette Tillman : Well, I mean, panic and anxiety can manifest in many forms. You should listen to your body. It's smarter than you think. Yeah, but anxiety about what?

• Everette Tillman : What do you think their perception was?

  Earnest 'Earn' Marks : That this big black gorilla came into this white girl's room and just destroyed shit. I don't know. Uh, you know, as an RA, they make you feel like you have some sort of agency. But then you turn around, and then, all of a sudden, you're O.J. It's, like, why give me the master key if you didn't trust me to use it?