- Adrian Monk: [arguing with Harold at the door to Dr. Kroger's office] You go to Hell.
- Harold Krenshaw: You go to Hell.
- Adrian Monk: The only reason I would even consider visiting Hell would be to visit you.
- [Randy is reciting a car's VIN to the Captain so he can enter it into a database search]
- Lt. Randall Disher: First letter, "T" as in "tsunami".
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: "Tsumani"?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Silent "T".
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What? No. "T" as in "Tom". Just say "Tom".
- Lt. Randall Disher: What's the difference?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: It doesn't... The "T" is silent.
- Lt. Randall Disher: It's not completely silent. "Tsumami".
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: All right. All right. Let's go.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Second letter, "P" as in...
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: "P" as in "Paul".
- Lt. Randall Disher: No.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Too late. I typed it. "P".
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, but the person reading the letters gets to say the word. That's how we do it.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: That's how who does it?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Society. We live in a society.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Yes, we do, Randy. Meanwhile, the "P's" been sitting on my screen for 10 minutes.
- Lt. Randall Disher: Fine. "P" for "Pam". No! "Panavision". "Tsunami", "Panavision", next letter, "L".
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: "L".
- Lt. Randall Disher: As in... No, we'll come back to that one.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: No, we can't come back to it, Randy.
- [the phone rings and the Captain answers]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Whoever this is, thank you very much for callling.
- Kindergarten Teacher: They wanted to give you this.
- [hands Harold and Joey a poster from the kids]
- Little Girl: It's a picture of you!
- Harold Krenshaw: That's me, huh?
- [looking at the sketch of him on the poster]
- Harold Krenshaw: Well, I hope not! Look at the size of my head!
- Joey Krenshaw: I'm surprised you can stand up!
- [They laugh together]
- Harold Krenshaw: [noticing an unusual bridge-shaped object on the poster] And what is that?
- Little Boy: The Golden Gate Bridge.
- Harold Krenshaw: Really! What's keeping it up? Magic? Because I don't see any suspension cables! Joey, you got a pen?
- [to the kids]
- Harold Krenshaw: What's the matter with you?
- [draws lines on the drawing of the Golden Gate Bridge with a Sharpie]
- Harold Krenshaw: NOW it's a bridge.
- Joey Krenshaw: It's basic physics.
- Kindergarten Teacher: They're only six years old.
- Harold Krenshaw: They're not going to learn any younger. That's what my Uncle Ronnie always says.
- Joey Krenshaw: [notices an unusual drawing in the corner] What's this? A bird? My God, it must be 20 feet long!
- Harold Krenshaw: Yeah! It looks like Mothra. Remember that old movie?
- [Harold and Joey make a scene imitating the screaming from Mothra]
- Kindergarten Teacher: [nervously] You're on the school board?
- Harold Krenshaw: Yeah.
- Joey Krenshaw: [takes a call on his phone] Hello?
- Dr. Levine: Mr. Krenshaw?
- Joey Krenshaw: That's right.
- Dr. Levine: This is Dr. Levine calling from Reno. You wanted me to call if there was a change in your uncle's condition. I'm afraid it doesn't look good. You might think about coming home to say goodbye.
- Joey Krenshaw: How long does he have?
- Dr. Levine: Five days, maybe a week. I'm sorry, sir.
- Joey Krenshaw: Thank you, doctor.
- [Walks back over to Harold, who has been making lots of edits to the poster the children brought in]
- Joey Krenshaw: All right, kids, you've got your notes. Why don't you go back to school and try again.
- [Hands the poster over to them]
- Harold Krenshaw: That was nice. Who was that?
- [referring to the person on the phone]
- Joey Krenshaw: Cousin, that was money calling, endorsement money. You ever heard of Neptune Energy Bars?
- Harold Krenshaw: No.
- Joey Krenshaw: Well, they've heard of you. They want to pay you $10,000 to be in their next commercial. Yeah, they're on a tight schedule. They need to shoot tomorrow morning. You think you're up for it?
- Lt. Randall Disher: [17:52] Of course, no security camera and no picture, BUT...
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: But?
- Lt. Randall Disher: We got the VIN number. It was on the radiator support bracket. I guess our boy must have forgot that.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: They always forget the radiator support bracket!