- Max Doyle: Hey, I can't risk a leg injury. There's a dance after the Halloween talent show, and I don't want to disappoint all the lucky girls who begged me for a shot.
- Colin Doyle: [scoffs] No girls talk to you.
- Max Doyle: Hey, yesterday I asked a girl to go to the dance with me and she said no. I call that talking!
- Max Doyle: Dad, I forgot to ask. What's "paranormal?"
- Colin Doyle: [interjecting] Easy. It's two normals.
- Phears: We will meet again; and, if you tell anyone that you've seen me, my cape-dwelling friends and I will haunt them and make their lives unlivable. Understand? Tell no one - especially your parents. I know where you live, Max. When was the last time you saw your parents grovel for mercy?
- Max Doyle: At my Cousin Skeeter's piano recital?
- Phears: What?
- Mrs. Murray: And now, ladies and gentlemen, to kick off tonight's entertainment I am pleased to present Max the Magnificent and his equally magnificent assistant Traci Walker.
- Mrs. Murray: Max, I can't believe it. You made this fundraiser the most successful one the school has ever had. Thank you.
- [repeated line]
- Max Doyle: From the light of Earth, the dark descends. Should they return, that all depends.
- Max Doyle: [to Buster, the family dog] Dog spit. Don't you ever swallow? You're like Grandma on Thanksgiving.
- Rebecca: So, Traci, are you serious about your parents grounding you?
- Traci: I guess. I mean, I can't believe I got a "D" on yesterday's science test. I studied in between texting till midnight the day before.
- [looks at her graded paper]
- Traci: Oh, my gosh. No way. "H2O" stands for water? I thought it meant "Hi to Only you."
- Girlfriend: Maybe you spend too much time texting.
- Traci: Seriously, why would you say that?
- Tara: Here I'm the only one who can see you. Now, get over here, but be careful. They can't see you but they might be able to FEEL you.