Monk (TV Series)

Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan (2007)

Sarah Silverman: Marci Maven

Photos 

Quotes 

• [during the flashback summation] 

  Adrian Monk : [voice-over]  Marci, what are you doing? There's no hugging during the "here's what happened!"

  Marci Maven : [voice-over]  Sorry, go on.

• Marci Maven : Look, I really have to see Adrian, it's an emergency.

  Natalie Teeger : Yeah, that's what you said last year, Marci. But when he got in the car, you locked the door and tried to drive him to Corpus Christi.

  Marci Maven : It was Thanksgiving!

• Adrian Monk : [Monk and Natalie are visiting Marci in her home. She serves Monk his favorite bottled water and square cookies]  They're square!

  Marci Maven : [laughing]  I knew you would appreciate that! Yeah, I've been baking all day, and cleaning, I wanted everything to be perfect.

  Adrian Monk : [Monk examines his glass]  Marci, is this *my* glass?

  Marci Maven : Not anymore, you threw it out - remember? And yes, this is your rug, and yes, that is your lamp, and yes, these are your pants.

  [Monk and Natalie look at each other suspiciously] 

  Marci Maven : Don't worry, I'm not crazy, I'm just a fan.

  [Seriously] 

  Marci Maven : You are amazing. But you knew that, didn't you.

  Natalie Teeger : His pants?

• [Marci is playing with her dolls in a diorama of Monk's cases] 

  Marci Maven : [as herself]  Adrian, should we call the Captain?

  [as Monk] 

  Marci Maven : Not yet, Marci, we need to gather more evidence. Natalie, get the car.

  [falsetto] 

  Marci Maven : On my way, Mr. Monk!

  Natalie Teeger : Is that me?

  [picks it up] 

  Natalie Teeger : It's a troll doll.

  Marci Maven : Huh.

• Marci Maven : [Monk, Natalie, and Marci are walking away after interviewing a lumberyard employee]  That is 4 lumberyards down. One to go. How am I doing?

  Adrian Monk : Not bad, actually.

  Marci Maven : Well, if you ever need an assistant...

  Adrian Monk : Well, I have Natalie.

  Marci Maven : Maybe it's time for a change.

  Adrian Monk : Natalie and I have been together for three and half years. So, I don't...

  Marci Maven : I'll work for free!

  Adrian Monk : [Monk stops and thinks. Natalie turns toward him]  What?

  Natalie Teeger : You're considering it?

  Adrian Monk : Well... you know... free.

  Natalie Teeger : So?

  Marci Maven : You want to make a counteroffer?

  Natalie Teeger : Yeah, here's my counteroffer: I'm not nuts!

  Marci Maven : You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. It's-it's her. I get so flustered.

  Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, you're not flustered, you're flattered. Who wouldn't be? She adores you, she knows *everything* about you. After all, you're only human.

  Marci Maven : There's no need for name calling.

• Natalie Teeger : And the dog was definitely dead when you buried him?

  Marci Maven : Yeah, the dog was was definitely dead when I buried him! What do you think? I'm a nut?

  Natalie Teeger : Uhhhh...

• Young Clerk : May I help you?

  Marci Maven : [working as Monk's assistant]  This is Adrian Monk. He's going to be asking you some questions.

  Young Clerk : What about?

  Marci Maven : You'll find out. First there are some ground rules. No coughing. No sneezing. You will not shake his hand. You will not make small talk. Do you understand? Lower that sleeve so that it's even with the other one. He's very particular.