- Officer Ray Holt: [spying on Jake and Amy in bed with a hidden camera] Sleep, sleep, you ugly morons.
- Jake Peralta: I'll have you know that a dog's butt is cleaner than a human's mouth.
- Terry Jeffords: That can't be true.
- Jake Peralta: Well, a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's mouth, and dog mouths lick dog butts, so you tell me where my theory is wrong.
- Dr. Gabbie Wince: Yep, he swallowed 'em. You can see the gems right here on the X-ray.
- Jake Peralta: And you're sure those are the gems and there's not something horribly wrong with him?
- Dr. Gabbie Wince: Well, the part that's horribly wrong with him is if you look here...
- [Points at the X-ray]
- Officer Ray Holt: Oh, nobody cares.
- Jake Peralta: Sorry, Rosa, if you wanna switch partners this late in the game, they have to have the same skill set as Scully.
- Hitchcock: I'm available.
- Rosa Diaz: Right, or... That filing cabinet kind of looks like Scully.
- Officer Ray Holt: These fools don't stand a chance against us.
- Jake Peralta: Yeah, they really are fools, aren't they? Just like whoever Agnes and Alfredo beat at singing to get into the Olympics. I know nothing about opera.
- Officer Ray Holt: I can't believe the two strongest competitors got partnered up. We're a dream team like in the 1992 Summer Olympics.
- Jake Peralta: Okay, I know you're not talking about basketball, so just tell me what weird sport you think the Dream Team was from.
- Officer Ray Holt: Sport? I'm talking about the opening ceremonies. Agnes Baltsa and Alfredo Kraus singing back-to-back arias.
- Officer Ray Holt: I gave the bunnies glasses and little blue vests.
- Jake Peralta: The vests add nothing.
- Officer Ray Holt: The vests add gravitas.
- Jake Peralta: [Annoyed] Your butt adds gravitas!
- Amy Santiago: It's happening. Put on your head.
- Charles Boyle: Oh, with pleasure. I love disappearing into a role. I'm Argyle James Hopford, a bachelor bunny who's carrying out a scandalous affair with a local goose.
- Dr. Gabbie Wince: Uh, I'm sorry. Who are all these people?
- Jake Peralta: We're coworkers involved in an elaborate Halloween heist.
- [to Holt]
- Jake Peralta: Do you seriously not talk to your vet about us?
- Officer Ray Holt: I want to win, Which is why I'm initiating Operation Fabius.
- Jake Peralta: Okay. That does sound kind of cool.
- Officer Ray Holt: Well, it shouldn't. I may have to change the name. Roman dictator Fabius Maximus defeated Hannibal by avoiding battle and exercising patience.
- Jake Peralta: I can be patient. I just listened to you talk about that Fabius guy for, like, four hours.
- Officer Ray Holt: It was two sentences.
- Jake Peralta: Ugh, shut up.
- Officer Ray Holt: I'm sorry. Are you accusing me of something?
- Jake Peralta: Was that not clear? Do you need me to say it in Latin?
- [in Italian accent]
- Jake Peralta: I think you sabotage me.