- P.J. Franklin: Oh, my God. I gotta get out of here. They're applauding a PAN!
- Stephanie Layne: [excitedly] It's got a copper core.
- P.J. Franklin: Bachelor parties and showers - turns out they're both sexist rituals, but the bachelor party is so much less lame. Plus, there's scotch.
- Brendan Dorff: [as to attending Bobby's bachelor party] I'm broke. I mean, I can't afford it. I can either drink or eat - and, come on, I mean, we all know what I'm gonna choose here.
- Andy Franklin: Hey, if you don't eat, you're gonna get really drunk.
- Brendan Dorff: My hand has been forced.
- Jack Newman: What's the matter? Not invited?
- P.J. Franklin: No girls allowed, apparently.
- Jack Newman: Yeah, well, we're tryin' to keep cooties out of our treehouse.
- P.J. Franklin: It's so stupid.
- Jack Newman: It is. You're right. And, you know, I'm... I'm not going either, in protest.
- P.J. Franklin: Well, you have to go. You're Bobby's brother.
- Jack Newman: Okay, I'll go, but I'm not gonna have fun, in protest.
- Mike Callahan: [finding Bobby sitting with PJ and Stephanie] Don't talk to them.
- Bobby Newman: But... they're our friends, and... I LIKE them.
- Mike Callahan: No girls, remember? We're bachelors tonight. Right, Andy?
- [Andy's cell phone rings]
- Mike Callahan: Dude, don't answer that! You and I are the glue holding this bachelor party together.
- Andy Franklin: [dryly] Might be a stripper.
- Andy Franklin: Jo, you remember Mike from the set-up dinner that went nowhere?
- Jo: Oh, right. We had no chemistry at all. How are you?
- Mike Callahan: Fine. Thank you.
- Mike Callahan: [to Andy] Uh, we agreed - no women allowed, just dudes. She has to go.
- Andy Franklin: The "dude" portion of the evening has ended, and now I'm gonna hang out with my friend Jo.
- Mike Callahan: This is crap! You girls are everywhere. No offense.
- Jo: No-no. How could your insisting I leave be offensive? Nice boots.
- Mike Callahan: Oh, thank you.
- Jo: I was being sarcastic.
- Mike Callahan: No, you weren't.