- Krusty: Damn that, Brockman. There are only two rules in tv: Don't swear and don't whip it out. It's not rocket science!
- Ludacris: I'm the enemy of cavity / Unstoppable like gravity / So brush with regularity / And you'll avoid calamity. See you in Atlanta, GA. Dirty, dirty, dirty mouth, y'all!
- Marge Simpson: Oh, hi, kids. You're just in time to go to the dentist.
- Bart Simpson: Dentist? You said we were going dirt biking through the cementery.
- Lisa Simpson: Oh, Bart. You keep falling for that one every six months.
- Homer Simpson: [Carrying a dirt bike] Check it out, suckers! Marge is taking me dirt biking through the cementery.
- Lisa Simpson: No, dad. You're going to the dentist too.
- Homer Simpson: "Why the cementery?", I wondered, but my dreams were too strong.
- Homer Simpson: I will not stay in the same house as someone from the liberal media.
- Lisa Simpson: You'll have to excuse him. He's been watching a lot of Fox News.
- Homer Simpson: Did you know that every day Mexican gays cross our borders and unplug our brain-dead ladies?
- Kent Brockman: Excuse me, did you see the six o'clock news?
- Comic Book Guy: No, I get my news from the internet, like a normal person under seventy. Farewell, dinosaur.
- Rod Flanders: What are you doing, daddy?
- Ned Flanders: Imploring some people I never met to pressure a government with better things to do to punish an innocent man for doing something that nobody saw. That's what I'm doing!
- Rod Flanders: Daddy, we think you need a new mommy.
- Ned Flanders: First things first!
- Marge Simpson: I'm gonna have to run, but I don't have time to stretch my quads.
- [running]
- Marge Simpson: My quads! Each stride is a nightmare!
- Homer Simpson: Ow, my gums! It hurts so much!
- Dentist #1: But I haven't even started yet.
- Homer Simpson: I know, but a breeze from that open window is blowing into my mouth.
- Mr. Burns: Kent Brockman is threathening our ill-gotten gains.
- Rich Texan: Goldarn it! I worked hard to ill-get those gains!
- Kent Brockman: Reporters used to expose corruption and corporate greed. Now, like toothless babies, they suckle at the teat of misinformation and poop it into the diaper called the six-o'clock news.
- Kent Brockman: Earlier in this broadcast, I said a word so vile it should only be uttered by Satan himself while sitting in the toilet.
- Marge Simpson: Don't you just love that fresh mouth feeling?
- Homer Simpson: Who wants ice-cream?
- Bart Simpson: I can't wait to get the freshness out of my mouth.
- Homer Simpson: I'm gonna glue my mouth shut with butterscotch.
- Marge Simpson: [weakly] Oh, yay.
- Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, our report from the Middle East will not be seen, so that we may bring you a man who bought an ice cream cone.
- Homer Simpson: That's me.
- Kent Brockman: Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that the ice cream parlor and this station are owned by the same company, but I digress.