Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Jude Law: Dr. John Watson
Photos
Quotes
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Dr. John Watson : [Holmes points his violin bow at Watson] Get that out of my face.
Sherlock Holmes : It's not in your face, it's in my hand.
Dr. John Watson : Get what's in your hand out of my face.
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Dr. John Watson : [to Holmes, about Irene] Why is the only woman you've cared about a world class criminal? Are you a masochist?
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Sherlock Holmes : You've never complained about my methods before.
Dr. John Watson : I'm not complaining.
Sherlock Holmes : You're not? What do you call this?
Dr. John Watson : I never complain! How am I complaining? When do I ever complain about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, or the fact that you steal my clothes?
Sherlock Holmes : Uh, we have a barter system...
Dr. John Watson : When have I ever complained about you setting fire to my rooms?
Sherlock Holmes : Our rooms...
Dr. John Watson : The rooms! Or, or, the fact that you experiment on my dog?
Sherlock Holmes : Our dog...
Dr. John Watson : The dog!
Sherlock Holmes : Gladstone is our dog!
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Dr. John Watson : You've been in this room for two weeks, I insist you have to get out.
Sherlock Holmes : There is absolutely nothing of interest to me, out there, on Earth, at all.
Dr. John Watson : So you're free this evening?
Sherlock Holmes : Absolutely.
Dr. John Watson : Dinner?
Sherlock Holmes : Wonderful.
Dr. John Watson : The Royale?
Sherlock Holmes : My favorite.
Dr. John Watson : Mary's coming.
Sherlock Holmes : Not available.
Dr. John Watson : You're meeting her, Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes : Have you proposed yet?
Dr. John Watson : No, I haven't found the right ring.
Sherlock Holmes : Then it's not official.
Dr. John Watson : It's happening. Whether you like it or not, 8:30, the Royale. Wear a jacket!
Sherlock Holmes : *You* wear a jacket.
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Dr. John Watson : What of Mary?
Palm Reader : M for Mary. For marriage. Oh, you will be married!
Dr. John Watson : [nodding his head slowly] Go on.
Palm Reader : [looking intensely at Watson's palm] Oh, I see pattern tablecloth and... Oh, china figurines and... Ugh! Lace doilies!
Sherlock Holmes : [pretending to be deep in thought] Mmm... Doilies!
Dr. John Watson : Lace... doilies? Holmes! Does your depravity know no bounds?
Sherlock Holmes : No!
Palm Reader : [continuing her prophecies about Mary] Oh, then she turns fat and, ugh, she has a beard and...
Sherlock Holmes : What of the warts?
Palm Reader : Ah, she's covered in warts!
Dr. John Watson : [interrupting the palm reader] Enough, enough!
Sherlock Holmes : Are they extensive?
Dr. John Watson : Please, enough!
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[Watson and Mary enter Baker Street to find Holmes hanging from a noose]
Dr. John Watson : Don't worry, dear. Suicide is not in his repertoire. He's far too fond of himself for that.
[pokes Holmes sharply]
Dr. John Watson : Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes : [wakes up] Oh, good afternoon. I was attempting to determine the means by which Blackwood survived his execution - clearing your good name, as it were - but it had a surprisingly soporific effect, and I found myself carried off into the arms of Morpheus like a caterpillar in a cocoon.
[to Mary]
Sherlock Holmes : Good afternoon, dear.
Dr. John Watson : Get on with it, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes : Well, cleverly concealed in the hangman's knot was a hook... oh, my, I think my legs have fallen asleep. I should probably come down.
Mary Morstan : John, shouldn't we help him down?
Dr. John Watson : No, no, I hate to cut him off mid-stream. Carry on.
Sherlock Holmes : Well, the executioner attached it to a harness which allowed the weight to be distributed around the waist and the neck to remain intact. Oh, lord, I can't feel my cheeks. Might we continue this at ground level?
Dr. John Watson : How did you manage it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes : I managed it with braces, belts and a coat-hook. Please, Watson, my tongue is going, soon I'll be of no use to you at all.
Dr. John Watson : Worse things could happen.
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[Holmes picks up a gadget from the midget's workshop and it turns out to be a taser, that sends Dredger flying across the room, crushing another thug who has Watson pinned]
Dr. John Watson : Holmes? What is that?
Sherlock Holmes : Je ne sais pas.
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[Holmes has been firing a gun into the wall]
Dr. John Watson : Permission to enter the armory?
Sherlock Holmes : Granted.
[He fires again]
Sherlock Holmes : Watson, I am in the process of inventing a device which muffles the sound of a gunshot.
[He yells in pain as Watson opens the curtains, letting sunlight into the room]
Dr. John Watson : It's not working.
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Dr. John Watson : [as he's choking Dredger into unconsciousness] Relax. I'm a doctor.
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Dr. John Watson : You really believe he was resurrected?
Sherlock Holmes : The question is not if but how. The game's afoot.
Dr. John Watson : "Follow your spirit..."
Dr. John Watson , Sherlock Holmes : "And upon this charge, cry, 'God for Harry, England and St. George!'"
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Lord Blackwood : Sherlock Holmes... and his loyal dog. Tell me, Doctor, as a medical man, have you enjoyed my work?
Dr. John Watson : Let me show you how much I've enjoyed it...
[He rushes at Blackwood, Holmes holds him back]
Sherlock Holmes : Watson, don't! Observe...
[Watson sees Blackwood's trap]
Dr. John Watson : How did you see that?
Sherlock Holmes : Because I was looking for it.
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Mary Morstan : What can you tell about me?
Sherlock Holmes : You?
Dr. John Watson : I don't think that's...
Sherlock Holmes : I don't know if that's...
Dr. John Watson : Not at dinner.
Sherlock Holmes : Perhaps some other time.
Mary Morstan : I insist.
Sherlock Holmes : You insist?
Dr. John Watson : You remember we discussed this.
Sherlock Holmes : The lady insists.
[Holmes sits quietly a few seconds, studying Mary]
Sherlock Holmes : You're a governess.
Mary Morstan : Well done!
Dr. John Watson : Yes, well done. Shall we... Waiter?
Sherlock Holmes : Your student... is a boy of eight.
Mary Morstan : Charlie is seven, actually.
Sherlock Holmes : And he's tall for his age. He flicked you with ink today.
Mary Morstan : Is there ink on my face?
Dr. John Watson : There's nothing wrong with your face.
Sherlock Holmes : There are two drops on your ear, in fact. India blue is nearly impossible to wash off. Anyway, very impetuous act of that boy, but you're too experienced to react rashly, which is why the lady for whom you work lent you that necklace. Oriental pearls, diamonds, a flawless ruby... hardly the gems of a governess. However, the jewels you are not wearing tell us rather more.
Dr. John Watson : Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes : You were engaged. The ring has gone, but the lighter skin where it once sat suggests that you spent some time abroad, wearing it proudly. That is, until you were informed of its true and rather modest worth, at which point you broke off the engagement and returned to England for better prospects. A doctor, perhaps?
[Mary throws her wine in Holmes' face]
Mary Morstan : [badly shaken] Right on all counts, Mr. Holmes, apart from one: I didn't leave him. He died.
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[Mrs. Hudson starts to clear space for the tea tray]
Sherlock Holmes : Don't touch. Everything is in its proper place... as per usual, Nanny.
[on her way out, Mrs. Hudson notices the dog laying on the floor]
Mrs. Hudson : Oh, he's killed the dog. Again.
Dr. John Watson : [irritated] What have you done to Gladstone now?
Sherlock Holmes : I was simply testing a new anesthetic. He doesn't mind.
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Sherlock Holmes : [after two henchmen call in Dredger, to Watson] Meat? Or potatoes?
Dr. John Watson : My ten minutes are up.
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Dr. John Watson : [Holmes is firing a gun in the house] Mrs Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson : I won't go in there by myself, not while he's got a gun in his hand!
Dr. John Watson : You don't have to go in there at all.
Mrs. Hudson : What will I do when you leave, doctor? He'll have the whole house down!
Dr. John Watson : He just needs another case, that's all.
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Dr. John Watson : No, not you, Mary and I. You are not...
Sherlock Holmes : What? Invited? Why would I be not invited to my own brother's country home, Watson? Now you are not making any sense!
Dr. John Watson : You are not human!
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[Holmes is spying on Blackwood's sacrifice. A henchman tries to sneak up on him, but Watson grabs him and puts him in a hold]
Dr. John Watson : I like the hat.
Sherlock Holmes : Thanks, I just picked it up.
Dr. John Watson : You remember your revolver?
Sherlock Holmes : Oh, knew I forgot something. Thought I left the stove on.
Dr. John Watson : You did.
Sherlock Holmes : I think that's quite enough. You are a doctor, after all.
[Watson feels the henchman's pulse and lets him fall to the floor]
Sherlock Holmes : Always nice to see you, Watson.
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Dr. John Watson : [about Irene , to Holmes] She loves an entrance, your muse.
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Sherlock Holmes : Whatever he was working on, he obviously succeeded.
Dr. John Watson : How do you know?
Sherlock Holmes : Otherwise, he'd still be alive.
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Dr. John Watson : Holmes! Does your depravity know no bounds?
Sherlock Holmes : [nonchalantly] No!
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Sherlock Holmes : Where's the inspector?
Dr. John Watson : Getting his troops lined up.
Sherlock Holmes : That could be all day.
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[Watson is sorting Holmes's un-read mail, in response to his demand for work]
Dr. John Watson : Lady Radford reports her emerald bracelet has gone missing.
Sherlock Holmes : [not looking up] Insurance swindle. Lord Radford likes fast women and slow ponies.
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[Holmes and Watson are searching Riordan's house]
Sherlock Holmes : There's one odor I can't put my finger on. Is it candy floss, molasses...? Ah! Barley sugar.
[Watson turns around to see two goons enter, one holding a...]
Dr. John Watson : ...Toffee apple.
Sherlock Holmes : Let me guess... Judging by your arsonist's tool kit, you're here to burn down the building and destroy all the evidence therein.
Thug : Just one minute, boys.
[calls]
Thug : Oh, Dredger!
[as Dredger enters, Holmes and Watson look up... and up]
Dredger : Il y a un problème?
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Dr. John Watson : Glad to see you two are working hard. And I thought we were trying to be discreet.
Captain Tanner : You would not last one day in the navy.
Dr. John Watson : Are you sure there isn't an alternative means of water transportation than that?
Sherlock Holmes : I guarantee you nobody knows London's waterways better. Tanner's practically a fish himself.
Dr. John Watson : He certainly drinks like one.
Captain Tanner : You found a sense of humor, doctor. If only just a sense.
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Irene Adler : You made the front page.
Sherlock Holmes : Only a name and no picture.
Irene Adler : So it looks like you'll be needing to work outside the law now... and that's my area of expertise.
Sherlock Holmes : I feel safer already.
[turns to Watson]
Sherlock Holmes : You seem to be making a rapid recovery.
Dr. John Watson : Yes. Took the shrapnel out myself. Mary said I had a lousy doctor.
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Dr. John Watson : Who do you think won the match, Clarkie?
Constable Clark : Sir?
Dr. John Watson : The rugby match. Your boys have done a magnificent job obliterating any potential evidence.
Sherlock Holmes : Yes. But at least they never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
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Captain Tanner : I told you he'd be coming out the top window. There isn't any way he'd be coming over that terrace.
Dr. John Watson : Technically, that isn't the top window, is it, sailor boy?
Captain Tanner : What is it?
Dr. John Watson : [flustered] Well, it's the middle window.
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Dr. John Watson : Why is the only woman you've cared about a criminal? Are you a masochist?
Sherlock Holmes : Allow me to explain.
Dr. John Watson : Allow me. She's the only adversary who ever outsmarted you. Twice. Made a proper idiot out of you.
Sherlock Holmes : Right, you've had your fun.
Dr. John Watson : What's she after, anyway?
Sherlock Holmes : It's time to press on.
Dr. John Watson : What could she possibly need?
Sherlock Holmes : It doesn't matter.
Dr. John Watson : An alibi? A beard? A human canoe. She could sit on your back and paddle you up the Thames.
Sherlock Holmes : That's of no consequence to you, is it? We've done our last case together.
Dr. John Watson : I've already read it. Missing person: Luke Reordan, 4 foot 10, red hair, no front teeth.
Dr. John Watson : Case solved. You're obviously not her type. She likes ginger dwarves.
Sherlock Holmes : Midget.
Dr. John Watson : So you agree?
Sherlock Holmes : No, I don't agree. It's more than technicality, you see. You're misrepresenting the dimensions of foreshortened peoples.
Dr. John Watson : I've said too much. I've upset you.
Sherlock Holmes : No, I am simply stating that one has...
Dr. John Watson : What were you doing?
Sherlock Holmes : Will you allow me to explain?
Dr. John Watson : I wish you would.
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Sherlock Holmes : Now that you're sitting comfortably, I shall begin. My initial approach was far too narrow. When Blackwood invited me to Pentonville Prison he suggested I widen my gaze and, at minimum, I have done just that. In fact, I may well have reconciled thousands of years of theological disparity. But that's for another time. Blackwood's method is based on a ritualistic mystical system that's been employed by the Temple of the Four Orders for centuries. To fully understand the system, to get inside it I reenacted the ceremony we interrupted at the crypt with a few enhancements of my own. My journey took me somewhat further down the rabbit hole than I had intended and though I dirtied my fluffy white tail, I have emerged enlightened. The fraternity, who silently control the empire, share the belief with the kings, pharaohs and emperors of old that the sphinx was a door to another dimension a gateway to immeasurable power. It's made up of four parts, The foot of a lion, the tail of an ox, the wings of an eagle, and the head of a man. In Sir Thomas's secret chamber, I found the bone of an ox the tooth of a lion, the feather of an eagle and hair of a man. Map. The points of the star represent the five murdered girls but the cross is what we're now interested in. It's a widely held belief that within the architecture of the great cities are coded references to this system. Since he rose from the grave, Blackwood has killed three men. Each murder was committed at a location that has a direct connection with the temple, therefore the system. Reordan, the ginger midget, represents man. We found his body here. Sir Thomas, master of the temple, wore the ox ring. He died here. Standish, ambassador to America where the eagle has been the national emblem for over 100 years. The headquarters of the Temple of the Four Orders where he died... is here. Correspondingly, the map will tell us the location of Blackwood's final act.
Dr. John Watson : So we have man, the ox, eagle. Only the lion remaining.
Sherlock Holmes : Right here.
Dr. John Watson : Parliament.
